After my initial feelings of hyperness last night, I sort of hit a wall, it came with about 30 minutes left at work. That is to say, my body decided it needed to slow down, but my mind kept racing. I've had a lot of stuff on my mind lately, whether I should move, where I should move, weighing my options on things here in town, trying to decide what I want to start before possibly leaving, and trying to figure out just what the hell Maundy Thursday means. (I first heard of this a couple of days ago, and thought it was "Monday Thursday." A very confusing turn of events for me.) So yeah, I've been a little preoccupied with lots of stuff, even more than I have listed, and that kept me up most of the night. I sort of had that "night before Christmas" feeling I had as a kid, except being excited about opening presents, I was anxious about what the next day would bring, how I would handle situations, and just how I'm going to make it through the next week. Plus, add my reading of The Infinite Book into it, and I'm done. I think that book is a little too deep for me to read quickly, too much philosophical stuff for my mind to comprehend in the state it currently has been maintaining. So the rest of tonight is going to be spent doing laundry (Laundry Thursday? come on, I thought it was funny) and watching a movie, probably Swingers. I love that movie, but haven't watched it for a while. I shall remedy that tonight.
I'll leave you with a quote now, from Swingers, which I think kind of sums up my situation right now. Take it as you will.
I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.
-Trent "Double Down" Walker
(substitute "Flenker" for Mikey, and "basically everyone" for Trent, and that's my life!)
3 comments:
Just wanted to come by and say thanks for that super awesome comment you left, then I saw that you linked to me too. It's people like you that make blogging worth it. Thanks. :)
As for the post that I'm commenting on, I definitely know what you're going through. My life is kind of up in the air right now too. I've applied to law schools all over Canada, and I've just sold my car. It's just a waiting game now to see where I'm headed, and it's a little unnerving to think that the decision isn't really in my hands.
Hang in there, Flenker, I'm certain that you'll make the best of whatever you end up doing and wherever you end up moving. You seem like that kind of guy.
As I learned last night at church, "Maundy" means "mandated" or something similar in Latin. So, basically, it's mandated that Christians go to church on said Thursday. The Catholics cheat and call it "Holy Thursday." I will always call it Maundy Thursday, if only to confuse people for the exact reason that you were confused.
Thus ends my theological lesson for today.
Anyway, things will work themselves out, but there's no need for me to give you another pep talk. I mostly say it for me, to try to convince myself that they will!
Perhaps you and I should get together and have our own depressing life talk. We might just help each other out. H helped me through mine a little. (Too bad both her peppy friends are down right now!) It helped for me to be around my old friends (the ones before I moved to IA) b/c for some reason they seem to understand me more and perhaps its because they've known me longer. Who knows?!?
Things do get better and sometimes you just have wait out the storm.
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