Friday, April 06, 2007

Unified Theory of Flenker, phase the first (Tragic Flaw)

First off, I'm going to pretend that Haley didn't send me an email today stating that "It would be the perfect breakfast if they had had Sunny D," (I mean, come on, Sunny D? Really?) and then followed it up with an email containing the line "I used to really like the Goo Goo Dolls." I'm sorry I'm airing this publicly, Haley, but it has to be said. Sunny D and the Goo Goo Dolls suck. They always have. I'm sorry. You don't suck, though. We all have our faults. Even me (I had a flat-top haircut in the third grade, spent most of the prime "social" high school years alternating between playing a Star Wars-based collectible card game and sitting at home talking to the same friends I had just hung out with on ICQ with the hopes that we'd chat with some girls, and spent three-and-a-half years in Ames, IA). But none of those faults define who I am. My Tragic Flaw, however, is always lurking in my life.

Much like Hamlet, I have the inability to act without over thinking everything. Some may say that I am too indecisive, but this is just an extension of contemplation without action. And this has related directly to the stress I've been feeling lately, and is responsible for my quick turn around from ecstatic to reflective to ennui and anxiousness. I'm not saying that I should just make a decision on where I should move on a whim, but if I read too deeply into a possible city, I can convince myself that there isn't one better than another. Which will lead to me not doing anything, just letting the status quo remain. Every once in a while, I need to just act upon my impulses. Had I done this a few days ago, I'd probably be in a totally different mood right now, and would have a total different outlook on the (near) future.

And there's a major part of my problem; I recognize it, I can reflect on different choices I should've made, different things I should've said, almost immediately after missing my chance. It doesn't make for a happy Chris. Hence, my recent disposition. I'm working on that, though, and will hopefully do something in the coming days to greatly improve my mood. That's not to say that I will be totally happy soon, but also not saying that I'm extremely unhappy right now. I'm just kind of frustrated with the way things have gone, which has lead to a general malaise.

Normally I'm not this much of a downer or anything, I'm more upbeat and what have you. I think tonight is just a random coincidence of a lot of things happening (or not happening) at once, combined with a couple of beers and a Friday night spent at home on the internet. That's the way it goes, sometimes. But trust me, the Unified Theory of Flenker will not always be some attempt at a deep reflection or me bitching myself out. No, I will (at least attempt to) be humorous, thoughtful, and entertaining. And mostly sober. mostly

In the next installment of the UTF, drooling dogs!

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