Friday, June 29, 2007

You will thank me for having the song stuck in your head for the rest of the day

So going out and drinking with Captain Crab last night was a blast. Unfortunately, it left me a little brain-mushed today. Not hungover, just unable to think. It was most likely the second vodka martini. Or the second carafe of sake. Or the big beer. Or the Jack and Coke followed by the fruity drink, I don't even remember what it was now. Either way, there were some epic amounts of alcohol drank by a couple of piratin' fools. We even fit sushi in. It was delicious. The Crab told many stories, none of which I could do justice trying to tell myself. He needs to write more often over there at H's blog. Or create his own! I'd read it.

I had a great, great time last night, even if I went undrafted. I'm really happy for Adam Haluska, maybe I'll try to catch a Hornets/Spurs game when I'm in Texas. I'm definitely going to try to go to a Sonics/Spurs game, to see Kevin Durant. Although, that may be the hardest ticket to find, seeing as how Durant was a stud at Texas, I'm sure plenty of people would like to go see him play. I'll have to use my talents at getting into places.

The end of this post is sponsored by Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, writer at, on Page 2. This week, his articles have been outta the park, seriously funny stuff. Starting off with a running diary of the NHL Draft, then a chat on Tuesday, and ending with last night's NBA Draft running diary. Anyways, I was reading the chat, and Simmons and the readers sending in questions had an ongoing thing where they tried to come up with the worst possible song to watch a stripper dance/get a lapdance to. Funny enough in itself, right? Some of the songs suggested were great. But my favorite part of the whole chat is as follows:

Mike (Chicago): I would like a lap dance to Rick Astley's "Never gonna give you up".

SportsNation Bill Simmons: I'm glad you brought this up. When I was in college, we used to go to Papa Gino's for All You Can Eat Pasta night, which was fantastic. Anyway, right when we got there one night, I put $5 into the jukebox and just selected that same Rick Astley song over and over again so that it would play for the entire time we were there. The reactions from the diners were priceless. Every time the song ended, you could see people praying that it wouldn't start again, and then it would. I miss college.

That made me laugh out loud, really hard. Of course I had to look up the video. And so, to finish up, here is the wonderfully amazing video for "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Enjoy.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Captain Crab Coming to town

Sorry if this post is a little disjointed. I blame it one Captain Crab. He was in the IC, and we had a hell of a time, pirating and whatnot. I learned much on this night, and more will follow. but for now, bed will come to me soonly. Soonly may not be a word, but tonghit, it means more than you can ever know.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Concierto de Aranjuez

So I've been slacking a little in my Vital Flenker Tracks, naming only one so far, but that's something I'm hoping to change in the next hundred posts, along with the Flenker's Thumbs Up movie rating system. Today, I'm introducing a new track, one of my all-time favorites.

In either my junior or senior year of college, I took a trip to Iowa City to see the Chicago Jazz Ensemble perform. The program for the night was Miles Davis's Sketches of Spain, an album recorded in '59/'60. I was taken with the song "Concierto de Aranjuez" from that point on, and I quickly found Davis's version. Ever since then, it has been one of my favorite songs of all-time. (I even made my roommate Dan promise me he'd have it played at my funeral.)

So this song becomes the second Vital Flenker Track, because of its simplicity, its wonderful melody, and just its overall beauty. Enjoy this clip (the only recording I could easily find on the internet) of the middle (Adagio) section. The full song is over 16 minutes long, and ends too quickly every time I listen.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Picture this

I figured that no celebration is whole until pictures are broken out, so this post will be dedicated to a random collection of photos of me throughout the years. Unfortunately the site on which I had a lot of my photos went down, so I'm left with whatever is saved on my computer or other spots online. Sorry. Honestly I'm sorry.

This first set of photos I like to call "Drinking Flenker".

This is me and my friend Travis, obviously drinking in moderation.

And this is the obvious extension of said moderate drinking

Bill and I sipping wine, watching the same program on different television sets

This next set is called "The Scene Stealer"

Showing off the guns (and self-inflicted cigarette burn)
This was the first night that I met Haley. Bill and Jeff also pictured
I don't know more than 3 people in this picture, and don't really recall it being taken

And to show I'm not an alcoholic, some non-drinking photos

The "Shots from Behind"
In Minneapolis with the gang

Walkin' in Memphis with Marin

The "Jim and I Would Make a Good Gay Couple" series

The "I Just Ate an Entire Little Canister's Worth of Nutmeg" photo

Now this last photo may be a little shocking. It was taken over 10 years ago, so just be warned.

You ready for it?

I give you, "Young Flenker"

Ladies and gentlemen, H!!!!

Once again, here is a very special guest post from Ms. H. She was kind enough to help me out with this celebration, and happens to be marking her 200th post also! So sit back, get a nice cool glass of your favorite beverage, and enjoy! And check out her blog for a very special 201st post over there in the near future. . .


February 13th, 2007, was a fateful day for the blogosphere. My good friend Flenker decided to rejoin the Blogger ranks, and started writing a little blog called The Politics of Lonely.

Some of you might question the timing. You might say, H, wasn't February 13th, 2007 the day before your birthday? And I might say, why yes it was! And you might say, H, didn't you start your blog (enter shameless plug for Random Mindless Ramblings here) just three weeks prior? And I might say, why yes I did! And you might say, H, does it bother you that Flenker started his blog the day before your birthday, just three weeks after you yourself started your own blog, and proceeded to not only post with more frequency -- hitting 200 posts two posts before you did -- but also more funnily and with much better quality of writing? And I might say, of course not. I am not at all envious of my friend Flenker's writing skills that are far superior to mine and his wittiness that I clearly do not possess.

Of course, I might also say yes, I am extremely envious of my friend Flenker's far superior writing skills and his wit. Actually, I probably wouldn't say it, but I'd definitely be thinking it.

However, I harbor no hard feelings toward Flenker. He may have followed in my footsteps and then one-upped me in every conceivable way, but it isn't his fault that he's more talented. He's made life much more enjoyable for everyone who's been reading TPoL, including me. I'm very proud of Flenker's work here.

Also, I think it's worth mentioning that I am the eighth most labeled item on TPoL over the past 200 posts, coming in behind Life of Flenker, Music Recommendations, Food, Sports Related, Hawkeyes, Weather, and Baseball.

I'm taking this opportunity as TPoL's 201st post guest blogger to reflect on some of my favorite moments over the past 200 posts.

Most recently, as part of Video Week, Flenker did an entire post of Hawkeye videos including the Iowa fight song, the marching band playing "In Heaven There is no Beer" and Warren Holloway's miracle catch in the 2005 Capital One Bowl. As a Hawkeye fan myself, those videos were special for me, but I think non-Hawkeyes were able to appreciate them as well.

There was the guest post I wrote about qualifications to be with Flenker. You might say, H, aren't you kind of hogging the TPoL glory right now? Shouldn't this be about Flenker? And I might say, it is about Flenker, and let's remember that I was the one who inspired him to start blogging again in the first place.

I loved when Flenker was interviewed by The Boob Lady and she asked him what the first thing he would do if he had boobs. He said that it would probably take him a week to leave the room because he'd be so preoccupied with them. It's funny because it's true.

The Flenker Thumbs Up rating system for movies is one of the greatest things ever invented. I'm disappointed that we haven't seen more of it and hope that there will be more Flenker movie reviews in the future.

Flenker's daily music recommendations have been top notch and have steered me in the direction of some great new music. It is through these music recommendations that I started listening to What Made Milwaukee Famous, among other great bands.

Flenker has written many letters over the past 200 posts -- to Barack Obama, McDonald's, Zach Braff, and others. My favorite of those letters is the letter to the super cute girl sitting across from him at the library. Sadly, nothing ever came of that letter, but keep your chin up, Flenker. There are other super cute fish in the sea.

Also, Flenker has never been afraid to impart other people's wisdom upon us. He shared Satchel Paige's Six Rules on How to Stay Young with us back in February. Take the time to review those if you haven't read them. Take them to heart.

You might say, H, I'm surprised you didn't mention Flenker's Ode to H that he wrote for you way back in April! And I might say, this isn't about me, is it?

Seriously, though, it has been a joy to read The Politics of Lonely over the past 200 posts and am looking forward to 200 more. Congratulations!

Monday, June 25, 2007


you can tell I'm totally excited

So this is post 200 here at The Politics of Lonely, and, since I'm totally lacking any other sort of inspiration, I thought I'd celebrate with a week-long party here. There's going to be cake, ice cream, surprises, tears, drinks, , love, pants-less musings, some napping, and maybe streamers. I haven't decided on that last one yet. Everything that you know and love about TPoL will be paraded about until you're absolutely sick of it (even sicker of it than you already are!).

Anyways, look for a very special post in the near future for #201. Be very excited.

Also, one last thing, I wanted to take this opportunity to officially announce that I'm forgoing the final four years of my NCAA eligibility and declaring myself available for the NBA draft taking place later this week. I'm not expecting to be a lottery pick, I may not be as flashy as Kevin Durant or Greg Oden, but I believe I have the strong fundamentals and a good attitude that would help any team looking for a good "chemistry" guy. So GM's, you have my number. I'll be available Thursday night for my call. I look forward to joining your ranks!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Milwaukee's Best

Well I made it back from Wisconsin all in one piece, in spite of my best efforts. Actually, there were only a few shenanigans, my only injury came from laying awkwardly on my arm while sleeping on a hotel room floor, causing my wrist and arm to feel just a little off.

KP and I left the rainy weather of Iowa and trekked north to the warm, sunny skies of Milwaukee, our directions ready to lead us. At least, they were supposed to lead us, but a combination of me being confused and hell of construction on a major interstate interchange led to a slight detour and missed turns. Luckily, we were able to find our way and made it to Miller Park. Little did we know that this would just be a microcosm of the whole trip. More on this later.

The game was fun, it was a night honoring the Negro Leagues, so hats from the Milwaukee Bears (not to be confused with the Milwaukee Beers of Baseketball fame) were given away, about 4 or 5 former Negro League players were in attendance, which was pretty awesome, and a traveling exhibit from the Negro League Baseball Hall of Fame was at the park. Unfortunately the line was too long, so we didn't check it out.

Once we got in and settled, we headed to the food stands to accomplish one of our goals: to eat a chorizo sausage. Of course, this couldn't be a simply task. We went to one of the main concession stands and noticed chorizo wasn't listed on their menu, so we asked a lady at the counter where this elusive meat could be found. After a little runaround (at one point someone told us that it was not sold at the park), we found the stand, about 30 feet from where we were standing. We ate a chorizo. I thought it was delicious.

A few innings and a few beers later, we decide to walk around a little, to hit the john and check out the park (the Royals were not playing well, and were on their way to a 7-1 defeat). On our walk, we noticed an intoxicated girl who was in the middle of saying something to her friends, but was looking right at KP and me, and all we heard was "Oh fuck me." We didn't know what that meant, or how it was intended, but we both heard the same thing. Later, while we were walking, we saw the same girl, KP mentioned something to me, the girl heard, and then started following us around, asking me what KP said. I was not sure how to respond at all, but I'm pretty sure I made something up, and then walked away from her. We headed back to our seats, a little confused, and upset that we missed Bill Hall hitting a home run. I was not going to miss the sausage race, though. I was sticking with chorizo, since his cousins had tasted so delicious. Bratwurst had other plans, though, and my chorizo came in a distant 4th, only beating Italian sausage. Pretty soon after that, we decided to hit the road to beat traffic and to head to the wedding reception. But let me tell you one thing: if you ever get the opportunity, go to a baseball game at Miller Park in Milwaukee. The park is beautiful, almost as nice as Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City. More importantly, you can watch the sausage race. It's just something you have to witness first-hand.

Our next misadventure was going to the reception. KP had planned ahead and printed out directions from the ballpark to the hotel. Yet again, the construction foiled our plans. We were looking for exit 1H, but there was not a 1H to be found. We took some random exit, and then started driving towards downtown. After driving for a while, we parked in a ramp and asked the attendant for directions to the Hilton. Miraculously, we were only about 2 blocks away.

The reception was a usual reception, but was still a good time. Any time that I can get free beer is a good time. Especially if it leads to me doing a feet-first baseball "pop-up" slide across the dance floor. Twice. And playing a piano in the lobby a little bit. I was able to talk to some friends, and got me and KP a place to sleep, on the floor of one of the rooms that my friends were renting. It was a little uncomfortable, but the price was right.

Today we got up and about, went to the local casino for a few minutes (I ended up winning $5) and decided that we were both too wiped out to go to the game. It wouldn't have been worth it, we were both a little hungover, and just exhausted. So we headed back for Muscatine, listening to the Royals/Brewers game and flipping to the Cubs/White Sox game on occasion.

And then I found $20.

I'm leaving a ton out right now, but really, I need to get to bed. It was a long few days, and I'm feeling like I may pass out on the computer. I'll tell more of the story in a day or two. but for now, I'll leave you with what I have. And, tomorrow is a special day here, it will bring my 200th post, and a week-long celebration. What could I possibly have in mind??? Just wait and see.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Words cannot describe

Just watch

And with this, Video Week draws to a close. Thanks for watching, I hope you got some entertainment, and learned a little bit.

Eat fresh (assuming fresh means soaked in vinegar and on kind of stale bread)

Some pretty intense thunderstorms came through Iowa City last night, and showers continued until sometime this morning, so tennis was not played. Which was fine with me, we were going for a 9 AM start time, and I'm not sure if I would've been functioning that well at that time. I was up way too late watching/listening to the storms, so I didn't get much sleep. Sleeping in until 10:30 definitely helped that out, though.

I've been trying to eat more at home instead of going out for food, both to save money and eat healthier foods. Not that falafel is unhealthy, but double cheeseburgers are. So for the past few days I've cooked up some ground turkey that I had in the freezer, and made various dishes with it. With the first pound, I just put it on sandwiches (toasted Jewish Rye bread is AMAZING) with some sauteed mushrooms and a little bit of mayo. These were surprisingly good, and very filling. Today I made some noodles, tossed them in olive oil, and then added the ground turkey with some more sauteed mushrooms. (I've been going through kind of a mushroom kick, too.) I feel that these are at least semi-healthy, granted the mushrooms are cooked in butter, but the turkey is lean, and noodles are always good for you, unless you're on some stupid low-carb diet. (disclaimer: low-carb diets are not necessarily stupid. If you're on one, good for you!) So that's basically what I've been eating lately, and I feel pretty good about it.

Dinner last night was Subway with my dad. One of the worst Subway experiences I've ever had, neither of the girls working gave the impression that they knew what they were doing, and seemed less "Sandwich Artists" than "sorta dumb girls handling my food". I asked for a little vinegar and oil on my sandwich. The girl putting it together did ok with the oil, but paused for a split second in one spot while applying the vinegar, so I had a rather strong-tasting spot. Not really a great surprise. For both our order and the guy's order before us, there was a lot of confusion at the register as to how to properly ring up the food. Don't they have buttons for these things? (Although I will admit that we just got new registers at my job, and I'm struggling to catch on. All of the numbers changed and everything, and they have touch-screens now that are hyper-sensitive so it sometimes registers a button when the finger is hovering above it. Kind of a neat trick to do sometimes, but it gets frustrating when you don't intend to do it. One guy, an 82-year-old who had been the longest-tenured employee in the whole company, worked at our store, but quit this week expressly because of the new registers. These Subway registers, however, were your standard generic cash registers.)

Now, I'm going off to say hi to my mom since she's working today. I don't think I've seen her since Mother's Day, even though she works here in town about 3 days a week. So I'm off, probably for the weekend. Hope everyone has a good one.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Quote of the day

"More and more of our imports are coming from overseas."

I overheard someone say this last night. Seriously? You mean more of the things that we're getting from overseas are coming from overseas? What about exports? Are less and less of those going overseas, and that makes more imports come from overseas?

A look at the weekend

Since there may not be much posting here over the next few days, I thought I'd outline my weekend now while I can. Because everyone is dying to know what my plans are at all times.

Tomorrow starts with some tennis in the morning, then work in the afternoon/evening. After that, who knows. It should be laundry and packing and sleeping, but we'll see if that happens.

The packing is for my trip to Milwaukee this weekend! KP and I are heading up to Miller Park to see the Brewers/Royals game. Saturday is Negro League Hat Giveaway day, so I'm pretty stoked. I'll have to decide if I want to wear my Royals hat or my Kansas City Monarchs hat. Tough decision. I think I'll go with the Monarchs. And I'll wear my Royals shirt.

After the game, I'll be crashing a co-worker's wedding reception. These friends of mine just happened to be getting married in Milwaukee the same day that KP and I were planning on going up there, so I figured we may as well stop by for some free food and beer. Miller Lite, of course. Although, I don't know if it's technically considered "crashing", since the bride-to-be found out and was extremely excited about us showing up, and the groom invited me after he found out I'll be there. But the girl keeps asking me if we're going to be "crashing their reception still," so who am I to disappoint? She was so excited, she showed me all of the extra food they had ordered and everything like that. I think it's more of a wedding excitement, but sometimes I like to tell myself it's all for me. People should be excited to see me. (I'm excited to see me in the mirror everyday. Or nearly everyday. Any day that I look in the mirror.) It works out well for us, they're going to have all sorts of finger-food, and lots of beer, all for free. What more could I ask for?

We'll be staying the night, and then heading to the Sunday game, which happens to be Bill Hall Bobblehead day at Miller Park. AWESOME! Two ballgames in one weekend, both with freakin sweet giveaways, and a free party in-between? I'm excited.

This is a good video. . . for me to poop on!

Today's video comes from Conan O'Brien's show. Specifically, it's my favorite interviewer, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, from his trip to the red carpet at the Tony Awards. I was in tears laughing from this. Enjoy!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

"Is this heaven?"

One of the reasons that I'm waiting until September to move to Austin instead of right after my lease is up on July 31, is that I really, really, really want to go to one last Iowa Hawkeyes home football game. Here are some reasons why this is a big deal to me (in video form):

First, the Hawkeyes' entrance always gets me going. The team comes out in a bunch, as one group:

After every Iowa touchdown, the crowd does this cheer, that usually goes for a few minutes, until the team kicks off, when the crowd does the whole "key shake" thing that seems to be pretty standard around college football.

Those were both from the Ohio State game this year, which was dubbed the "Gold Bowl", all fans wore their gold apparel. I wasn't able to go to the game (I wasn't going to spend $500 on a ticket), but it was the biggest game in Iowa City since '85, and the atmosphere was amazing. If only we'd won the game. . .

Next up are a couple of songs near and dear to every Hawkeye fan. First, the fight song

And next, the song played after every Iowa victory, "In Heaven There is no Beer" (being performed by the marching band at the Pep Rally before this past season's Alamo Bowl):

And now for a few special moments in recent Hawkeye history. This clip is from last season, in a game that was much closer than expected, that ended with one of the most memorable defensive series ever. Around here, it's known simply as "The Stand". (it's a long video, just a warning)

Here's one that I was in the stands watching with Marin, last season's homecoming game against Purdue

Finally, one of the more emotional games I've ever watched.

and a longer clip (with crappy effects edited in)

A little back-story is required on this one. In December of 2004, a few days after Christmas, my grandma suddenly passed away, kind of shocking the entire family. Everyone traveled to Arkansas for the funeral and visitation, which happened to take place on New Year's Eve. Of course that night, the family was all together, and drank massive amounts of alcohol. The next day was a lazy one for everyone, recovering both from the night and just trying to mentally recuperate from everything. The next day, January 1, 2005, was also the day of Iowa vs LSU in the Capital One Bowl. Knowing that I was going to the U of I and a big Hawkeye fan, everyone encouraged me to watch the game, reassuring me that it wouldn't be inappropriate, grandma would've wanted me to watch it, stuff like that. So here I am, already an emotional wreck, watching a sport and team that can get me worked up even more. At first things were going really well, Iowa was out to a 14-0 lead. But LSU stuck around, chipped away, and eventually took a 25-24 lead with about 40 seconds to play. I thought it was over, especially when the team didn't notice that the clock had started, and they were lining up for the last play of the game, 56-yards away from the end zone. I was crushed, but still, it was just a game, and didn't really matter, the events of the past week had put things into more perspective.

After that final play, I couldn't take it anymore, once Warren Holloway caught the ball and ran in (a senior, playing in the last game of his career, catching the ONLY touchdown pass of his career), I broke down, started crying, jumping around and yelling, not being able to believe what had just happened, and not knowing how to react. (Thinking about it now, and every time I watch the clip [I have it on a DVD], I get teary-eyed, I can't help it) I called my dad, and he just kept yelling, "It's a miracle! I've never seen anything like this!"

That is and probably will always be the most memorable sports moment in my life. Just given the circumstances and everything that we had all gone through, it's something that I will never forget.

I'm proud to be a Hawkeye.

Dear McDonalds,

Why do you have to keep luring me back to you? I know your food is disgusting, and shouldn't be eaten by anyone. But why can I not help myself sometimes? I mean, the double cheeseburger is only a dollar. A dollar!! And you have that new McFlurry, that ties in with the new Shrek movie somehow, that is delicious. How can I help myself? Then there's the McChicken sandwich, which is also only a dollar. Don't even get me started on the McGriddle. (It's a good thing that I'm rarely out and about when breakfast is being served.) It's just not fair. Luckily for me, after having the food, I remember why I don't go to your stores too often. I feel like dying. I'm afraid I may not make it through the night. But in a week or two, I'll have forgotten all about this episode, and it'll be midnight, and I'll be hungry and lazy. The one thing I have going for me is that you're like a mile or more away from me, and I don't like driving.

One last thing, please don't introduce any more milkshakes, or make them cheaper, because if you do that, I may as well switch to exclusively wearing sweatpants. Belts will not be able to hold me. It's bad enough that I have to deal with the Shamrock Shake once a year.



Monday, June 18, 2007

Yay for videos!

It just rained here for about 5 minutes, pretty hard, but right now the sun is out. Iowa weather, you gotta love it!

Most of this past weekend that I spent at my place was spent on YouTube, watching all sorts of videos. So this week, I'll share some with you, maybe one or two a day or every other day or something. I won't stop the normal posts, so you'll be able to get the side-splitting and sometimes introspective writing that you've come to know and love. I just wanted to share videos that I've come to really like with everyone else.

The first video is from the late 60's/early 70's, from the band Vanilla Fudge, and their song "You Keep Me Hanging On." These guys are so rad, the lead vocalist/keyboard player is really into it, the drummer is a stick-twirling machine, the guitarist has a sweet jacket and an even sweeter white-fro, and their bass player is just kind of ridiculous (I think he's got sort of an Alton Brown look going for some reason). They're all impeccable dressers. I really appreciate how much they put into their performance, just laying it all out on the line. Plus, the break-down at the end of the song is pretty epic. I dig it, and I hope you do too.

That's it for this video post. The next one will be a very special treat for Hawkeye fans, or for those of you who aren't yet Hawkeye fans but want to be, or for those who associate me with the Hawkeyes (I'm looking at you Lucy!) or just fans of really awesome stuff. So look forward to it!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Hello Fadder

Happy Father's Day! I don't know what everyone else is doing today, but I have some busy hours ahead. First up, there's a graduation party that I'm going to around noon. I love graduation parties, especially if there are sandwiches on cocktail buns. And graduation cake is amazing. Since the graduate is a co-worker, I imagine that the event will be catered by our place of work, which is fine by me. We have some gooooood cakes. After the party, my dad will be heading to Iowa City for a meal at the Hamburg Inn and a round of frisbee golf.

There are probably like 3 people reading this that have met my dad (Mel to anyone that meets him), so let me describe him for the rest of you. He's where I get my red hair, but not where I get my lack of mustache-growing ability. He's had a mustache for most of the time I've been around, there have been two times that he's shaved it, and it just doesn't look the same. I get my love for the Hawkeyes from him, also my love of baseball. He went to the University of Iowa to become a pharmacist, once had his own pharmacy, and now works in my hometown of Muscatine, IA, at the Hy-Vee, as a pharmacist. He'll come play home run derby with me and my friends, and every one loves having him there. He's a good pitcher, and can crank out dingers left- and right-handed. Nearly every Thursday, he'll come up to Iowa City to meet up with this dancing group in town, and usually when he's here, he'll take my brother and me out for some dinner. That's always awesome. He's married to a great lady, Jennifer, and has a great dog named Skipper. (I don't remember what kind of dog he is, he's little, with white curly hair, and is one of the most well-behaved dogs I've ever seen.) Some of my best memories from my childhood days are playing football with him in our front yard, me against my brother, with Dad being the all-time quarterback. Good times!

All-in-all, he's pretty great. So thanks, Dad, for everything! I wish I had a better picture on my computer, but this is definitely worth a Beeyah!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Radio, Radio

This post goes out to Krazee, he's my inspiration tonight. Check out the last video from his "Whiskey Lullaby" post, and you'll see what I'm getting at.

In December of 1977, Elvis Costello and the Attractions were playing Saturday Night Live, as a substitute for the Sex Pistols, who were having troubles getting visas to travel to the US. Costello's label, Columbia Records, wanted the band to play "Less Than Zero", a song that had been out for a little bit, in order to get more attention up for his soon-to-be released album My Aim is True. Elvis didn't want to play the song. So, a few bars into "Less Than Zero", he stopped the song, and launched into "Radio, Radio", a new one that was almost a protest song, stating how controlling the record companies could be over what songs were played. Doing this song was basically sticking the middle finger up to corporate radio. I love it. After this performance, Costello was banned from SNL for twelve years.

anyways, here's the video from that performance. Enjoy!

More like "Awesome Blog Advisory", amiright?

Naps are awesome. I had been up since 6 this morning, after not sleeping very well at all last night, mainly thanks to Jim calling me at 2:45 a.m. to explain to me the phenomena of cell phones, and how they work. I didn't answer, and was a little curious why my voice mail notification didn't sound right away. Then, 3 minutes later, right was I was starting to drift off again, it beeped at me. I thought something must've just gone a little screwy with the phone and caused a delay but no, it was a 3-minute long message. It was well worth being woken up to hear a message in the morning about towers and being able to walk around or even drive while you're on the phone. I love my friends.

So, as I was saying, naps are awesome. I laid down around 4 and started falling asleep, when it suddenly started raining, kind of out of the blue. I guess maybe out of the gray would be more appropriate. There was no rain in the forecast whatsoever, only the token 10% chance of precipitation. It was shocking, and made me want to lay there and watch it come down. But after a few minutes, sleepiness won out and I was in dreamland. And it was marvelous. Until I woke up and saw it was 5:30, and was totally disoriented and not sure whether it was AM or PM. I took a few moments to kind of come to my senses more, and gather my wits (not that there's really much there to gather).

We in Eastern Iowa are currently under a "Air Stagnation Advisory." I don't really know what that means, but I don't like the sounds of it at all. According to the National Weather Service (and I quote)




so that seems pretty awesome. Dangerous levels of pollutants in the air. Sweet! The only thing I've really noticed has been my allergies being a little more active today, which is always a good time. Not. This could explain why, even though it rained, it is still pretty miserably humid and hot and just uncomfortable to be outside. Oh wait no, that's the status quo for Iowa in the summer. My mistake. But what is this world coming to when there is an Air Stagnation Advisory in freakin Iowa? LA I could understand, I still have the standard-issue oxygen tank I was given by the Visitor's Bureau from when I traveled there a few years ago. But this is the heartland, the amber waves of grain (actually here it's corn, but who's counting) and all of that, we're not supposed to have pollution issues, are we? Or am I just ignorant to the situation? As far as I can remember, we haven't had such an advisory, but then again, I don't always pay attention.

One last thing, here's a link to the article my friend Bill wrote about Paul Shirley that I mentioned the other day. It's a good read, if you can make it through the crappy formatting. I don't know what the deal is with that. He emailed me a copy that was laid out very well, with paragraphs and everything, so I don't know why it's not the same on their website. Oh well, that's Ames for you.

Friday, June 15, 2007

So what if my big Friday night activity involves me struggling to keep my eyes open at 9 o'clock

I just realized tonight that I'm only 15 posts away from #200, so I've started planning out that celebration. You may remember that I did a few things in part of a pseudo-week-long celebration for #100. While I don't think I'll be doing another 100-song list, there may be shorter ones incorporated.

Tonight has been another in a series of rather uneventful nights, I worked until 7, then came home, loafed around, read a little, and will soon be hitting the hay. Tomorrow morning comes early for me, as I will be heading back to work at 7 a.m. But working 7-3 is pretty great, the day goes by quickly, and then there's the whole afternoon at my disposal. Granted, some of that afternoon will probably be spent napping, but there is also the lure of ice cream. A couple ice cream shops are within walking distance, and a number more a (very) short drive away. We shall see how energetic I'm feeling, and how high the temperature gets. (Some of my personal favorite ice cream flavors? Oreo cookie, anything with pecans and chocolate, the apple pie ice cream from Heyn's, Moose Tracks from Whitey's, really, anything with chocolate, peanut butter, fudge, oreo, etc. I'm not too picky) My roommates and I finally broke down and turned the air on, seeing as how the highs are going to be in the mid-90's for the next few days.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

A random hodge-podge about whatever I feel like at the moment

I feel like I haven't been a good blogger lately, my updates haven't been as frequent of late, mainly because I haven't done anything worth mentioning of late. Really, the past few days have just been spent reading (Then We Came to the End), sleeping (when I'm not sweating all the time), watching episodes of The Office (which has been great, I think episode 1 of season 3 ["Gay Witch Hunt"] was one of the funniest TV shows I've seen in a while, season 3 has been amazing this far, I'm 11 episodes deep), playing video games (SMU has gone on a streak, we've won our last 3 Big-12 games and are bowl-eligible), and avoiding the 90-plus degree heat as much as possible. Which means either sitting between two fans at home or going somewhere the air conditioning has been running. This weekend the a/c might need to be turned on here, it's supposed to get in the upper-90's, and the humidity is supposed to be on the rise. Great.

I'm getting really excited about going to Milwaukee next weekend to see the Brewers/Royals series with KP. It should be an awesome time, it turns out that a friend of mine from work is getting married in Milwaukee the Saturday that we'll be up there, so we're going to be crashing the reception and imbibing the free beer that will be available. Then, we'll find a place to stay the night and maybe hit up the game the next day, which just so happens to be Bill Hall bobble head giveaway day. Sweet! (And A, if you're reading this, I hope you liked the game tonight. That'll teach you to talk shit about a series before it's over, the Royals wiped the walls with the Cardinals tonight, 17-8, and won the series 2-1. Way to go.)

I think now, just for H, I'll list off the Hawkeyes (current and former) that I've seen out and about in the past week: Seth Gorney, Matt Roth, Nate Kaeding, Albert Young, Dace Richardson, Jake Christensen, Duez Henderson.

Speaking of former collegiate athletes, Bill interviewed former Iowa State Cyclone and current professional basketball player Paul Shirley today. Shirley's senior year at ISU was my freshman year there, and I would occasionally see him eating in my dorm's dining center. And occasionally I'd sit next to him (for lack of another seat) and strike up a conversation, just about whatever, trying to not bring up the fact that he was nearly 7-feet tall and on the basketball team. He went to Iowa State on an academic scholarship, and is extremely easy to talk to, so we had all these short snippets of small talk. Anyways, when Bill was here this week, I jokingly told him to ask Mr. Shirley if he remembered me from the Friley Hall Dining Center. Little did I know that Bill would actually ask him. Unfortunately, Paul didn't remember me, and probably won't be calling me to catch up any time soon. I don't blame him, he's probably talked to all sorts of interesting dudes, and has a hard time remembering some random redhead from nearly 9 years ago. I forgive you Paul.

Well, it's time for bed now. And since the "internet" isn't really working right now, this will probably be posted in the morning, but don't be fooled. This was really written at the time it states, 11:45 PM on Thursday night.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

In which I go off on a frozen pizza tangent

So while I haven't technically had "pants" on in the past few days, I have had shorts on for part of them, which everyone knows is short for "short pants". I think, that may actually be made up. Either way, I've done more than just lounging around in my underwear for the past few days. For instance, I met Bill for dinner last night at Buffalo Wild Wings and then drank and watched the NBA Finals game (series over, by the way. Actually, the series was basically over when the Spurs beat Utah.), then I met up with him again for lunch at Pita Pit. How lucky can one guy be? After lunch, I headed to my brother's place and played my football video game, and won! That always makes me happy, especially over the 9th-ranked Baylor Bears. I know, I know, it's a video game. But it's a video game into which I've invested a lot of time, so these things mean a lot to me.

Then it was apparently nap time for Flenker. And nap I did, for a couple of hours. It was wonderful. If only it weren't so hot, it may have been a Top-5 nap. As it was, it was just a pretty solid nap.

Now I'm eating a frozen pizza and drinking some DDP, and listening to some mixes. (I'm very pleased with how the exchange worked out, and will be doing another one sometime in the future.) Of course, the whole pizza will be gone in a matter of minutes. I really should do some investigating into whether or not there are some healthier pizzas out there, because I cannot help but eat the whole thing in one sitting, especially if it's just some thin-crust pizza. There are some out there that I only eat half of in one meal, but then they never quite are as good re-heated as the first bake. Not that I would ever turn down pizza. But it got me to thinking, which is my favorite frozen pizza? When I worked at a convenience store in one of the dorms at Iowa State, we had an over and made pizzas to sell by the slice. The most popular pizzas were the Digiorno and the Tombstone Stuffed Crust. They each had their selling points, the crust on the Digiorno pizzas were (when properly cooked) nice and thick and delicious. But the crust on the Tombstones were stuffed with cheese, and I always say any way to get more cheese into a meal is a-ok by me. So it would always depend on my mood, whether I wanted to at least feel decent about what I was eating, or if I just didn't give a damn about my arteries. So one of those may be my favorite, only because of my familiarity with them. What is your favorite frozen pizza? I'm pretty sure I'll know what H is going to say, but I'm interested in what everyone else out there likes, maybe it can give me some ideas for the next time I'm feeling lazy and hungry!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

H has a story for you

So this is kind of a cop-out for right now, but everyone should go over and read a classic Flenker story over on Random Mindless Ramblings. H tells the story pretty well, only she forgets to add that we were drinking for many reasons, one of which was my birthday. Bill had given me a baseball autographed by Buck O'Neil as a present, and I just felt obligated to return the favor in my own way. Also, I was wearing a sweater when I was out on the porch with H, and maybe socks. I'm not sure what my footwear was for the moment.

Anyways, I'm off to dinner with none other than Bill! I'm sure Haley is extremely jealous, I don't blame her. Jealous of Bill, that is. ha! I'll be back later, maybe even with another post! But for now, just check out what H has to say.

Oh yeah, that's right

It's night at work like tonight that remind me why I want to get the hell out of here. I won't go into too many details, just that I left 45 minutes late, I had to try to fix a ton of shit, had to run damage control for how a co-worker treated a customer, then typed up a 2-page note to the department manager trying to explain everything.

At least I have the next 3 days off. We'll see if I put on pants at all during that time period. I'd give it a 13% chance. Lower if I decide to keep my phone off the entire time.

Monday, June 11, 2007

The incredible, edible potato

Today's been rather productive so far, a stark contrast to yesterday. I've already showered, got one load of laundry done, another going, I went to the bookstore and purchased a couple of books (Running With Scissors and Death and the Penguin, at the used book store for a total of $12.05!), went for a bike ride, and have my attempt at some English-style "chips" in the oven. It's barely even noon! I really should have headed to the gym this morning like I was planning, but I still feel ok about how my day has gone so far. I still have a couple of hours until work, so who knows what else could get done! Maybe I'll put my clean clothes away instead of piling them on my bed, only to have them pushed to the floor when I'm ready to sleep. We'll see, I don't want to go overboard.

It's another beautiful day in Iowa City, I think the city is just really making a push for me to stay here in town come fall. A couple of friends of mine are doing the same, and as much as I like them and love this town, I think it's time for me to go either way. I mean, I can't pass up an opportunity like this, I feel like if I do, then I'll never really have another chance. Not that it would be a bad thing to stay here, but there's so much stuff out there that I need to check out. I just need to remember that when I'm constantly second-guessing myself.

Update on the potatoes: first batch is out, and tastes delicious! They're nice and soft inside, with a little bit of a crispy outside. I cut the potatoes into wedges, almost like home fries, then boiled them for about 5 minutes and immediately placed them into cold water. I let them soak in the water for a few minutes, then quickly dipped them into egg whites and stuck them into the cast-iron skillet that I had put a little peanut oil into and preheated to 350 degrees. Into the oven they went for about 10 minutes, then I turned them, tossed on a little salt, put them back in, and waited. After a quick walk to the gas station to redeem my free cap for a 2-liter of DDP, I took out the skillet, and let the wedges rest on a paper bag, to let them cool and to let some of the oil drain. I ate some of them alone, some with balsamic vinegar, and of course a couple with a little ketchup. I can't really say which way I liked them the best, they were all good. Dang, aren't potatoes amazing?

Well, that's about all from me for right now. I think I'm going to just sit around and read until work, I've got quite the queue adding up for my reading. So until next time, have a splendid day.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The weekend

My weekend started with a visit from Team Dilldahl, aka Bill and Haley (H prefers Bailey Hill, but I'm sticking with this one) on Friday night. They were heading to Chicago, so they drove about halfway and stayed with me, in order to cut down on the consecutive hours on the road. They pulled in a little after 11, and we were all pretty tired, Haley basically walked in the door and immediately sprawled out on my futon, so there were no drunken parties that night. Besides, I had to be at work at 7, and those two wanted to be on the road early, so we just sat around and chatted and eventually went to bed. It was a good time, but could have been better if A) they could've hung out for the weekend and B) if I didn't have to work at 7 the next morning. But any visit is good, I can't really complain.

Saturday was a long day, but fun. Any day that starts at 6 and ends with me passing out on a friend's couch at 2 am is long but fun. My friend Dan from work (you may remember him from this post, he's the other guy pictured with me in the last photo) and I decided that we'd play some tennis after work, then hang out as his place to play some beer pong, and then head downtown for a friend's birthday celebration. We both were at work early, he was there at 6 and I came in at 7, and both planned on taking naps (not together, we're not at that point of the relationship) before tennis. And neither of us napped, yet we still played some good tennis. I won the first set of our best-of-three match 6-3, then lost the next 4-6, but won the third 4-0 (we decided that we needed to cut the match short so the third set was only going to be to 4). We went to our respective houses and showered, then met up at his place. Something that we both forgot to eat something, so our drinks hit us pretty hard, and pretty quickly. It was a fun night. Nothing especially exciting happened, but that's not always a bad thing.

Today was mostly spent bumming around, eating McDonald's twice (which shows how absolutely lazy and disgusting I was feeling today) and not doing much else. My boy Federer lost today, so that always leaves me in a funk. One of these years, he'll win the French Open. He just may have to take out Nadal's knee first. Federer may end up being the greatest all-around players in history if he continues his dominance (this was his 8th straight Grand Slam event final, winning 6 of those, and 10 Slam titles overall), but he'll need to win the French at least once to cement that status. It's unfortunate for him that Nadal is one of the best clay-court players of all time.

That's basically my weekend. Nothing that exciting, but a fun time. Oh, before I forget, for those of you in the first Great Blogger Mix CD Exchange, Marin has sent her mix out, and Heinricy will be very soon. They both want me to thank everyone for their patience. So keep an eye on your mailboxes, there should be a few more tunes heading your way.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Quick post before work

Sorry, my "internet" hasn't been the most reliable lately, so I haven't had much of an opportunity to post. Now that it's working, I only have a short amount of time before work, so these are just going to be some quick notes, and I'll try to post more tomorrow.

  • I am extremely jealous of both Marin and Heinricy for this weekend. Marin is seeing Loney, Dear in DC tomorrow night, and Heinricy is seeing WHY? in Austin, also tomorrow. Tomorrow night, I'll most likely be asleep by 10 after working 7-3.
  • Daren and I had Thai for lunch, it was delicious. Rice noodles are amazing.
  • I added another blog link, Bad Wims. I'm pretty sure he's my food soul-mate, he has posts about falafel and sushi (where he mentions his favorite roll is the same as mine, the spicy tuna). So check him out, there's good stuff over there.
  • I've forgotten to pay my phone bill for a few days now. Oops. But, they sent me a text message reminding me to pay it, isn't that nice! I guess I'll do that tomorrow.
  • It's Federer vs Nadal in the French Open final this weekend. I have Sunday off, so I'll need to get somewhere to watch the match. Federer won their last match on clay, just last month, so hopefully he'll complete his career Grand Slam this weekend, on his way to picking up the Grand Slam this season. I love Federer. He's my current man-crush, along with Jim Krasinski from The Office.
  • Speaking of Jim Krasinski, he co-wrote the screenplay and is directing and starring in the film adaptation of Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, a book I just finished. I'm really looking forward to this!
  • The new book I'm reading is Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris. It's awesome so far.
That's all I have right now... I must get ready for work. Hope everyone has a great day/weekend!!!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

I really don't think Disney World was the best choice for this comparison

I know the Boob Lady did this not too long ago, so it's not an original idea, but this spam email was too good to pass up. This is copied and pasted exactly as it came, only the link that was included has been removed.

Your tiny penis looks like from the Disney World. With Penis Enlarge Patch it will look like from the Giant Planet.

If you don't know how to allure the women - Penis Enlarge Patch knows

thought that he can at least depend on a third of this mess as being manly
The day before he went back to his own home, now so strange to him, he was out with her, searching for some lost turkey-chicks, and found one with its foot caught in a tangle of rusty wire. The little creature had beaten itself almost to death in its struggle to get way. Kneeling in the grass, and feeling the wild palpitations of its heart under his rescuing hand, he had called to his sister, Oh, look! Poor thing! Its most dead, and yet it aint really hurt a mite, only desperate, over bein held fast. His voice broke in a sudden wave of sympathy: Oh, aint it terrible to feel so!

Now the first part of the email is pretty funny, just because it's kind of ridiculous. I wasn't aware of the Giant Planet. But then the last paragraph, so far down the email, ties the whole thing together to make it one of the better spam emails I've ever received. I don't know what brought me to open this particular email, usually I just delete them without even a glance. But this one caught my eye for some reason.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

They're brushing their teeth with our dicks!

Just wanted to add a quick post to say that everyone should go to to check out the internet show starring Clark Duke and Michael Cera. You may recognize Michael Cera as George Michael from Arrested Development (are tv shows italicized? or just quoted? I never can remember). And if you haven't seen "Arrested Development" (that doesn't look right, I'll stick with italics), go out and buy all three seasons of it right now. This online show has a similar comedic feel to AD, so check it out.

And Clark or Michael, (if either of you are Googling your name and come across my site), thanks for the show. It's pretty rad. You. Are. Rad.

Links 'n things

First things first, I don't know if many have noticed, but I've started to comment on my own posts, in response to other's comments. I figure it's a good way to communicate, without having to make a new post up. Other people do it, so why can't I? Plus, it's a good way to inflate my comment count, so I can make myself feel like people read this and whatnot. I've been doing it the past week or so, maybe longer, so if you're interested, go back and see some of my comments. And don't be offended if I don't directly address something you say, I probably just don't have anything to add or can't think up something witty. And I'm nothing if not witty.

Also, I've been adding links to some other blogs over there, so check them out! Some of the newer additions include Hannita's House, Never What you Think it Is, To Do: 1. Get Hobby 2. Floss, EJ Takes Life, and the newest addition - Life on Land. So check out the blogs of all of these ladies (I kind of feel like a blog/internet pimp today) and let me and them know what you think! And as always, check out everyone's blog linked to the right. I wouldn't link to them if they weren't awesome, so they've already got the Flenker Seal of Approval. You know they've got to be good. I always add more, so keep an eye out. Usually if you post on here and have a blog, I'll take a look and most likely give you a link. I mean, we're all friends here, right? (is it sad or do you agree that it is awesome that this is about as social as I get now?)

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

When we're on different sides of the globe

In this post, I mentioned how I had heard a new song that I fell in love with and put on my mix CD. Since everyone has received my mix now, I thought I'd end the suspense and let everyone not involved with the Exchange in on the wonderful song. The song to which I'm referring is Gemini (Birthday Song) by WHY? You can find it on the myspace page, it's the last song listed (you'll have to use the scroll bar to get to it on the list).

What first caught my ear about this song was the vocal line, the timbre and rhythm and just a basic idea of some of the lyrics. Musically, it seemed kind of upbeat, but there was a tinge of some melancholy piano lines in the background. Upon closer listening, the lyrics display a wide array of emotions, but ultimately this is a sad song. It also has some "dirty" lyrics, like the following selection
Today I fell asleep in a bath of hair.
Hair that once sprouted from my own
white wet chalk follicles.
I swallow a coal
and follow my breath
and I did it with the grapefruit soap
thinking of you.
When I ask you to kiss my pulse
you offer to start the shower
I want a verb and you give me a noun.
What do you dream up while I tongue you down?
I think lyrically this is a pretty amazing song. It doesn't use any cliche imagery, everything comes off fresh. I especially like the lines
don't regret the done dirt
there is no life plan set
you just swallow the cold
and follow your breath until death

The song, to me, is about a relationship that the narrator is reflecting upon, one that fell apart.

I wanted to make this some sort of "epic" post, breaking the song down and everything, but I'm having a really hard time trying to come up with some good way of dissecting this song. Every time I do, I feel like I kind of cheapen it and that I don't quite do it justice. I don't feel like I can really get on here and say "this is what this song means, this is what the songwriter meant and what he was feeling, etc." This song, for whatever reason, strikes a chord (pardon the pun) with me, and that's why I'm making it the first song in my new feature, Vital Flenker Tracks.

Vital Flenker Tracks (VFT) will be something that I'll post from time to time, consisting of songs that score the highest points with me, songs that I feel have a special meaning to me or ones that I hear and instantly love. Like this song from WHY?, which fits just about every one of those criteria. I'll try to get a few songs per week, but it won't be on any set schedule. How can I tell when I'll fall in love with a song? They can come from unexpected places. Maybe this will eventually make it into a mix cd, but for now, I just want to share the songs that I love, in any way possible. Perhaps I'll come up with some clever logo, or maybe someone else will. And I'll put up a special section off to the side once I get a few more songs introduced. For now, enjoy Gemini, I hope you can find your own meaning in it, let me know what you think.

Monday, June 04, 2007

4th of June?

Why does the 4th of July have to fall on a Wednesday this year? Doesn't it know that having a holiday in the middle of the week just makes it that much harder to make plans with people who have "real jobs"?

You see, almost every year for the past 6 or 7 years or so, some of my friends from my days at Iowa State get together for a few days of having fun. Last year it didn't happen, because I went to DC during that week. (And let me tell you, if you ever have the chance, to go the fireworks in DC. Marin and I watched them being shot off over the Washington Monument from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Pretty incredible scene.) We also play home run derby every year, and last time we played the Trivial Pursuit game that I referred to in the last paragraph here. (It was also when Heinricy came up with the line "We're sleeping in teams!" about our sleeping arrangements. Good times!) This year I'm going to have to figure out when we're getting together, either the weekend before or the weekend after. The weekend before has the Iowa City Jazz Festival. Both weekends have home games by the Swing of the Quad Cities. I guess we'll have to see which works out better for everyone. H has already said that she and Bill won't be able to make it the weekend before, so that may necessitate a move to the weekend after the 4th. It all depends on Jimbo and Charczuk. We'll have to start planning this now, though, since people will be traveling from all around. Hopefully it'll all come together and we'll have a good time. I'm optimistic.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive

H just called and sang me a wonderful rendition of "I Will Survive," but not quite as lovely as when I sang it to Bill last September. Like I say, two of the best words in the English language are "Open Bar". Maybe not the best words ever, I could think of some more I'd like hearing, but they're definitely up there.

This weekend in Iowa City is the Arts Festival, an event that takes place the first weekend in June (I think. . . I could be making that part up. It's always around then, though), where art vendors from all over the Midwest set up shop outside, on the closed off streets of downtown. Also, a couple of stages are set up, and live music is performed basically all day. Last year the performers included Ben Lee and Nickel Creek. All for free! This year didn't quite have the name-recognition, but that's a-ok, by me.

What wasn't ok with me was that I worked 9-5 yesterday, then had to work 7-3 today. I was a good boy and didn't go out and do anything last night and was in bed rather early, in spite of the beautiful weather at night and music drifting into my window from the festivities. I probably could have gone out for a little while, but I know that I would have had a hard time leaving. So I stayed in, biding my time until I could go today, after work. Of course it rains today, after work. But not until I'm already out walking around. It was a nice rain, though, not unpleasant to walk through, but still put a damper on some of the fun times. On the bright side, I didn't spend any money on food! Instead I made some black beans and rice burritos, with some Monterrey Jack cheese and a little fresh cilantro. They turned out very well, it's amazing how something so simple can be so delicious. I shared them with Daren, who returned from his tour today. We sat around and chatted a little while, but then I needed to go cheer the Cavaliers onto a victory tonight. Mission accomplished.

Really, it doesn't make for that interesting of a read. But that's how my day was, and I'll be darned if it wasn't fine. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel like writing some more. I actually kind of feel like writing more tonight, but can't seem to focus on any one topic, so I'll just pack it in and try again tomorrow. For now, I'm going to eat some ice cream, watch some episodes of The Office, and eventually try to head to bed. Nighty night folks

Friday, June 01, 2007

Guest post from H - more Rules on being with Flenker

(Note from Flenker: Today's post comes from H of Random Mindless Rambling and As the Coffee Brews. Enjoy!)

Hi! Welcome to Flenker’s life. As a part of Flenker’s life you will have to understand that me and my boyfriend, Bill, are going to be a big part of your life from here on out. Because of that, before things get too serious you’re going to have to prove to me that you’re legit. Here are a few of the qualifications that you will have to meet. Don’t worry if you don’t meet all of them; it just means that you’re supremely inadequate. Good luck!

¨ First impressions are everything. How you look is damned important, but so is how you act. I will not tolerate any of the following:

o Scrunchies.

o Clothes that are ill-fitting. If you can’t fit into your skinny jeans, please don’t wear them; no one wants to see your muffin top. Or your ass crack. And please throw away any shirt so tight that I can see the definition of any roll of fat you might have. I’m not asking you to be a waif, I’m just asking that you please not wear clothes that don’t fit you. If they once fit you and you’re holding out hope, put them in the closet and get back on the treadmill. Thank you.

o Exposed midriffs. (Exception: if we are at the beach and you are wearing a bikini).

o Bad posture.

o Acting like a complete bitch.

o Bad grammar.

¨ If you pass the First Impression test (and if you don’t, try not to take it too personally; not many girls do) you will then continue to be judged until I decide that I Like You. This could happen in just a few minutes, or it could take a few weeks before I decide that I Like You completely. If it hasn’t happened after a few meetings, it’s doubtful that it’s ever going to happen; there’s something about you that Just Isn’t To Be Trusted. Again, don’t take it personally, I just have my good friend’s best interests at heart, and you aren’t a part of them.

¨ Things you will have to know about to pass my test:

o Sports. You don’t have to be a sports expert, but you can’t walk in with absolutely no sports knowledge and expect to leave with my friend Flenker on your arm. Basic knowledge of baseball, basketball, and football is a must. However, DON’T act like you know everything about sports if you don’t. Ask questions.

o One of my guilty pleasures is partaking in a little bit of celebrity gossip from time to time. However, do not mention the following:

§ Jessica Alba/Jessica Biel. I just don’t care.

§ Jennifer Love Hewitt.

§ Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Hillary Duff. I don’t care if Lindsay is doing coke and Paris is going to jail. I don’t care that Lindsay and Hillary are friends again (the only reason I know this is that it was a CNN headline – seriously).

o Politics. If you’ve made it to the H screening this means that you’re past the Initial Flenker Screen and are a confirmed liberal (or at the very least, moderate). Again, I’m not asking you to be an expert, but you should be able to hold your own in a political discussion should the topic arise.

¨ In the name of all that is good and holy, please, don’t be an idiot. If I can’t carry on an intelligent conversation with you, it’s all over. While I might be random (always), mindless (sometimes), and rambling (often), I do like to think that I am a person of a fairly high level of intellect.

¨ On the other hand, no one likes a Know-it-All.

¨ Don’t talk about math. I hate math. I suck at math. Don’t make fun of me when we’re at a restaurant and the check comes and I take out my phone to use the “EZ Tip Calculator.”

¨ You can’t be too self-involved.

¨ High-maintenance is also a no-no. I like to primp and preen as much as the next girl, but I also don’t like to wait for three hours waiting for someone to “find an outfit” or “put on makeup” or “get ready” to go to the bar.

¨ Tequila drinkers get bonus points. I like a girl I can throw back a shot with.

¨ If you have a stupid name or spell it in a stupid way, it’s going to take a lot for me to overcome that. You’re going to have to be damn special to overlook the fact that your name is “Realitee.” (Note: I actually have encountered a person with that name, spelled that way.) I realize that you can’t help it that your parents were idiots, and I apologize for your lineage and wish Flenker the best of luck with your family. If you make it that far.

Good luck!