Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Grilled by Boobs

The lovely Boob Lady has been so kind as to send some interview questions my way. I never was one to turn down a girl, so here are my replies:

1. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

I've always liked horses, they're big and powerful and pretty majestic-looking. So I think I'll choose a horse. Especially one that's put out to stud. Yeah.

2. If you had boobs, what would be the first thing that you would do with them?

Is this assuming I'm still a man and have (female) boobs? Because if so, it'd probably take me a week to leave the room, I'd be too preoccupied. I'd poke and prod them, just to see what that felt like, to be on the receiving side. Jostle them around and whatnot.

3. Do you have any special talents that we should know about? What are they and how do they get you into places for free?

My talent for getting into places for free I guess would have to be my ability to make small talk with anyone, and to get to know the right people. Since I don't have the boobs to rely upon, I have to use my superior wit to get me into places. That would be my special talent. Wit, and being unashamed to talk to nearly anyone about anything.

4. If you were a car, what kind of tires would you use? Why?

I would have 205x55x16 tires. That's what I currently have on my car. Low profile, like myself, and they look good. They're hard to find and expensive as hell, so it's a pain when I have to get new ones, but they ride so smooth, they're worth it. Also like myself.

5. When was the last time your feelings were hurt? What did you do? How did you remedy the situation?

It takes quite a bit to hurt my feelings, I think. It doesn't happen too often. Most of the time, if I do have hurt feelings, it's because of something stupid, like I'll have a whole afternoon of people not answering or returning my phone calls, so I'll feel like everyone is ignoring me or I upset people somehow. To remedy the situation, I'll usually do something to keep myself entertained (blogging) or bitch to someone I can get ahold of (usually Marin).

***

Now if you want to be interviewed by Flenker, you know the deal. Post a comment here or something, and I'll send you some questions. Sweet

4 comments:

H said...

Okay, I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T RETURN YOUR PHONE CALLS THIS WEEKEND. I was just not looking at my phone! It will never happen again! =)

lucy said...

you're funny.

i'm glad you're boobless, for your sake.

Hannita said...

I am quite impressed with your ability to get into places. That's a great skill.

And, what the heck, I'll take questions.

Marin said...

Sorry that I didn't see this post until now, I must confirm, however, that Flenker has a nice set of little man boobs. Hope that doesn't embarrass him. Seriously was one of the first things I told my friends after I started dating him. Chris, did you know that?

Also, he is very good at getting us free food/drink at restaurants/bars where he frequents and has great lasting relationships with the sushi-chefs and bartenders. The red hair, smile, red face (most of the time), and little waddle to his walk make him stand out.