Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Rules for being with Flenker

Set One: Screening Process

To be in consideration, one must qualify according to these standards
  • Love of baseball - includes going to at least one MLB game per season, watching many more on TV, and going to other baseball-related events, such as a trip to Cooperstown for the Hall of Fame, Negro League Baseball Museum in Kansas City, college games, minor league games, independent league games, or anything else. Also, playing catch is a must. Total knowledge of the game isn't necessary, as I love to teach baseball. But the ideas should be known. Can be a fan of any team except the White Sox and Red Sox (Cubs fans are ok, but not preferred), but must root for the Royals with me.
  • Love of music - must be open to a wide variety of music, including but not restricted to jazz, "indie", country/bluegrass, acoustic, punk, hip-hop/rap, folk, funk, classical, experimental, etc. May not refer to Dave Matthews Band as "Dave"; in fact any reference to that band or any other jam band is not suggested. Also must be willing to go to shows.
  • Drinking/smoking - both are ok, drinking is encouraged at some points. Smoking is fine, but the less the better, and efforts toward quitting would be totally supported. Must be ok with drinking or not drinking in any given situation.
  • Age - 21 to 31, five years either side of my own age. The closer to 26.5 the better. (note: this is not set in stone, but would take some very extenuating circumstances to go below 21.)
  • Drug use - generally frowned upon. Past use is ok.
  • Must be able to deal with the different drooling dog states.
  • Brunette hair is preferred, but not required. Red hair is not high on the list, but may be overlooked if prospect excels in other area
  • Must be willing to try lots of new foods
  • Must live in the same area code
  • Conservatives need not apply
  • A plus if our names can be combined in some clever way, ala "Team Dilldahl"
  • In addition to meeting these requirements, candidate must pass an extensive screening process from Haley
Should these standards be met and excelled upon for some amount of time yet to be determined, then Set Two of the rules may be enforced.

Set Two: The Wedding (these are more my ideals, but are subject to change, compromises can be made)
  • Outdoor setting desired, possibly in a barn or in the mountains
  • Reception in the same area would be nice
  • A live band to perform
  • Guests will be fed with a cook out
  • Attire need not be formal, but kind of dressy
  • A theme party is welcome, such as a hoe-down if in a barn
  • The less traditional the better
Now all of these are subject to change, and rules may be added or subtracted at my discretion


lucy said...

a hoe-down??

H said...

Yeah, really, a hoe-down? Do I seem like the down-home country cowgirl type to you?

H said...

I think I should write a post about the ridiculous screening process any girl will have to endure from yours truly. Although, there are really no set rules, but I'm sure I could come up with some.

a said...

I feel bad for the lady that has to pass the screening test by Haley. Heck I'm worried about H meeting my 'friend' this weekend! She's probably going to just love him and then will be all disappointed when nothing happens with us. . . or she'll say something totally embarrassing and I will be forced to never talk to him again! ;) Love you H!

Hannita said...

Sounds like you would have liked my cousin's wedding that I was at earlier this month. At a forest preserve area. An entire pig was served after having roasted an entire day. The music was provided by his cousin's band "Skunk Holler" (they were actually decent). It was somewhat of a hoedown but most of them men were off hiding by the keg because they didn't want to dance. Good times.

Hideous said...

Fine... I'll quit flirting.

I get the point!