Happy "Opening Day!!"

Today marks the very first baseball game of the season, between the Boston Red Sox, defending World Series champions, and the Oakland Athletics, who could end being one of the worst teams in the Majors, in the Tokyo Dome. Sounds like a good game to me!

I was thinking of channeling my inner Bill Simmons and doing a running diary throughout the game, but decided against it, mostly because it's 5 in the morning, and I don't feel like typing constantly. I'm not going to miss the game, though. It's probably been almost 20 years since I've missed the very first pitch of the season, including the two times the season started overseas (Yankees/[Devil] Rays in 2004, Cubs/Mets in I think 2001?).

So get, grab a hot dog, root, root, root for the A's, and play ball!

5:20 AM Central - Eh, screw it, I'll do a running diary for a little while. Dice-K was off to a good start, his very first pitch was an out. The next three: ball, ball, the first home run of the season by Mark Ellis. Then, 6 of the next 7 pitches have been balls. (Right after Steve Phillips said Matsuzaka can throw 7 pitches for strikes at any time. And he wonders why he hasn't managed in 4 or 5 years.) All this after the Sox got a leadoff hit, then the next three went down in order. Awesome.

5:25 - Former Kansas City Royal Emil Brown is up to bat, after Jack Cust is hit by pitch, and surprise, surprise, first pitch ball. Now a wild pitch, advancing runners to second and third. Is it too early for ESPN to run stories about what's wrong with the Red Sox? Probably not.

Now is a good time, I guess to mention that another former Royal, Mike Sweeney, is now on the A's. Good for him, I hope he has a great season. I appreciate the time he spent in Kansas City, and wish things could've worked out better the last few years, but still, I will cheer him on all season.

Meanwhile, Dice-K walks Brown to load the bases.

5:35 - Brandon Moss gets the start because JD Drew has a "stiff back." Which I'm pretty sure is code for "he hit a grand slam in the post-season so he feels like he's made good on his contract and only has to show up when he wants." If you can't tell, I'm not a fan of his. As I'm typing, he grounds into a fielder's choice at second, and Jason Veritek grounded into a double play. I'm sure Dice-K is happy that he got about 4 minutes to rest after he got out of the bases loaded jam only giving up one run.

5:40 - I'm kicking myself, I thought I had some hot dogs, but apparently I don't. What the hell am I supposed to eat while watching the game?? I guess I'll have to settle for Waffle Crisp.

5:43 - Cedar Rapids, IA's own Ryan Sweeney is up to bat! I wasn't aware he went to the A's, last I knew he was on the White Sox. He just skied a ball about 350 feet, both in distance from the plate, and in height. Unfortunately for him, the outfield wall is about 380 feet away.

5:47 - Trivia: first stolen base of the 2008 goes to Kurt Suzuki. Another piece of trivia: I love what these ball boys and girls are wearing. It looks like they were extras in Tron or The Running Man. I'll see if I can find a picture. . .

5:52 - I love shots of the crowd, especially when it shows Red Sox fans shaking their head after their $100+ million pitcher walks another batter. Is it too early to be sick of "Red Sox Nation?" No? Good. Feel good Red Sox fans, you have Julian Tavares warming up in the bullpen.

5:53 - Bill Simmons may have actually set himself on fire this time.

6:03 - Matsuzaka got out of the inning on a questionable strike call with bases loaded. Damn.

One thing I don't like about this early Opening Day, both of these teams still have exhibition games to play when they come back to the States. Why make the game today and tomorrow part of the regular season? Make them exhibitions, and have the normal start date here.

6:09 - David Ortiz smokes a ball, right to the the 2nd baseman playing in shallow right field, who tosses to 1st for the final out. Gotta love the shift.

6:14 - Gary Thorne just explained that Bobby Crosby has never hit a home run against Boston. Next pitch - a little dribbler to the pitcher.

6:17 - I'm feeling a home run here for Kurt Suzuki.

6:18 - or a line-out to short to end the inning.

6:20 - Commercials in this break include some retirement planning company and an erectile-dysfunction pill. I guess that probably says something about who they think is watching. They got me pegged.

6:22 - I'm pretty sure commissioner Bud Selig just asked Steve Phillips on a date

6:25 - shower time for me. I figure if I go now, and Dice-K is still pitching in the top of the inning, I'll miss about 5 batters.

6:35 - Out of the shower, and I overestimated the batters I missed. I only missed 4. I'm awesome.

I also heard Charczuk's alarm go off for the first time, meaning he'll be up in half an hour. Yes, I heard it while I was in the shower.

6:39 - Bud just told Steve he'd see him at 2 in the morning. Awkward.

6:47 - A couple of uneventful evenings. Plus, I'm a little distracted, playing Scrabulous.

6:51 - The name "Kurt Suzuki" reminds me of the baseball game we used to play on the XBox like 7 years ago, where the names for new players were generated by putting a first and last name together, based on names already in the game. Most of the time it worked out, but there was the occasional Dmitri Hasegawa or Tadahito Martinez.

6:57 - I'm pretty sure David Ortiz's face has gotten bigger. It looks like a planet, orbiting the large mass of his body. How was his name not included in the Mitchell Report? Oh, that's right. George Mitchell is in the front office of the Boston Red Sox.

Meanwhile, the Red Sox have taken the lead. Shit.

7:08 - I'm pretty sure I hate the Progressive commercials with the "shopping center" place. They just showed two in a row.

7:13 - Oakland re-takes the lead on a MAMMOTH shot by Jack Hannahan. I love home runs. I can't think of one better event in sports.

7:27 - Mark Ellis just missed his 2nd home run. Darn.

Well, I'm going to start getting ready for work, so I'll have to stop the live updates. Unfortunate. Thanks for reading this far, it's been really fun! Maybe I'll do it again for something. Like if I ever have a date, I could bring a laptop and give continuous updates. Seems like a good idea to me. Although, by the time that happens, I'm sure laptops will be very very obsolete.

Sunday music

You may have heard today's music recommendation on a current Nike commercial. Saul Williams is awesome. I don't know how else to put it. I guess if I had to put a genre label on him, it'd be hip hop, but I don't know if that entirely describes his sound. His latest album, The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of NiggyTardust, employed Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor as a producer, and his influence is definitely heard. Industrial hip hop, maybe? Industrial pop hip hop? I don't know. All I know is that it's good stuff. Here's what Williams had to say about the album, released late 2007

My Dearest Friends and Fans,

It is my greatest honor to present to you The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of NiggyTardust!, my new album produced by Trent Reznor and mixed by Alan Moulder. The wall of sound that we've created is tagged with such graffiti that a passerby would seek out doors and ways to ENTER. Once inside a world defined by dreams come true they'd find aligned with the simplest act of sharing what we treasure. Most people aren't aware of the world of art and commerce where exploitation strips each artist down to nigger. Each label, like apartheid, multiplies us by our divide and whips us 'til we conform to lesser figures. What falls between the cracks is a pile of records stacked to the heights of talents hidden from the sun. Yet the energy they put into popularizing smut makes a star of a shiny polished gun. The ballot or the bullet for Mohawk or the mullet is a choice between new times and dying days. And the only way to choose is to jump ship from old truths and trust dolphins as we swim through changing ways. The ways of middlemen proves to be just a passing trend. We need no priests to talk to God. No phone to call her. And when you click the link below, i think it fair that you should know that your purchase will make middlemen much poorer...

NiggyTardust!

love,

Saul

And, from his myspace

As far as the way we’ve decided to release the album, we’re aware that it’s pretty risky, but are even more aware that we cant turn to the so-called powers that be of the industry for answers. Someone has got to be willing to take chances. I was very inspired by the recent Radiohead release and felt compelled, almost instantly, to follow my gut and expand on their concept. Obviously, independent artists have been around for years. My indie film, Slam was in fact what opened so many doors for me. yet, the stigma of being an indie artist in the music world hasn’t always been rewarding. This time I feel different. I feel like the times have conspired to make this album an important part of history.

He released it in a similar manner as Radiohead's In Rainbows, online, with a lower quality 192 kbs version available for no charge, a higher quality 320 kbs version available for only $5. The free download is no longer available (it was limited to the first 10,000), but all versions can still be purchased for $5 at niggytardust.com.

Here's a promo video for a track from the album, a most excellent cover of U2's "Sunday, Bloody Sunday."



You can follow the links in the player for more info.

If nothing else, read his words, listen to his music, watch the video, and, hopefully, enjoy. His words may be brash, his sound isn't for everyone, but I dig it, and I definitely respect his message.

One week down

Well, today marks the end of the first week in the KC area. It was a good week. Work is going well, the weather has been pretty nice, and for the weekend, I have the place to myself. I had my first of two fantasy baseball drafts last night, the second is this afternoon. My brackets are doing somewhere between "terrible" and "awful." So things are alright.

Really, I wish I had more stuff to talk about here, but there hasn't been too much. I work 8:20-ish to 4:30-ish, come "home," eat, watch TV (usually as much Law & Order as Charczuk and Rhiannon allow), and start falling asleep around 10. Exciting. I did go out and get my ass handed to me in poker on Thursday night, after spending a few hours after work playing some darts at happy hour. There were only 4 of us at happy hour, and we mostly watched the NCAA tournament, but it was a pretty good time.

For those of you with whom I'm playing Scrabulous, I'm sorry if I take a little while to take my turn. I'm going to avoid logging into Facebook from work, because then I'll really not get anything done, and I don't have my computer set up yet. I do have a couple of laptops to use here, but they're both Macs, so I'm trying to spend as little time as possible on them. (There's only one freaking mouse button!!!! And no task bar!!)

Geez, I thought this could be an entertaining post. But I had an epic fail there. The next one will be better, I hope.

I also hope that everyone has a good Easter, should you celebrate it. Mine's going to be spent watching basketball and umm, that's about it.

A quick post from Kansas, and some music

Things are going well here in Kansas, I've had two days on the job and am enjoying it! I haven't had much of a chance to post much, but I'm liking it here.

Anyways, here's a band that I've heard about a little while ago, listened to again, and didn't know why I didn't recommend it here. Here is Los Campesinos! from England. These guys are "indie pop," meaning whatever you want it to, I guess. Listening to them, I hear hints of New Pornographers, Apples in Stereo, a little Vampire Weekend, with a few other bands thrown in for good measure. So check them out!

Oh, and don't tell Charczuk that I'm posting while I'm sitting right next to him. It might weird him out.

A final missive from Iowa

I had a little "going away party" last night, which basically was my friend Chris coming over and watching "Trapped in the Closet" while drinking some gin and tonics. Plus some Wii bowling. It was a pretty good time. Seeing as how spring break has started at Iowa, and I didn't figure anyone would want to make the 20-mile trip north to Cedar Rapids when they could be out getting wasted in Iowa City, I wasn't planning on much. But we had a good time.

I really should start packing my car. I'm not taking a whole lot of stuff, just some clothes, a few books, some movies, of course my Wii, and my computer, along with an air mattress, but I should tidy things up around here before I go, get stuff situated so I can easily sort through them should I decide I want something, or when I get a place of my own and want to bring it. That was a long sentence.

Our dad is coming up to take Travis and me out to lunch, we're going to Zoey's Pizza, probably my favorite pizza in the area. I can't remember if I said that on here before, but it's delicious. Then I'm going to be hitting that dusty road. Ooh, that reminds me, I need to get some windshield wiper fluid. I'm out.

Alright, I guess it's time to start loading up junk. It's been fun, Iowa. I won't be too far away, I'll be back plenty of times. You can't get rid of me. I'm like the Terminator.

Stuff on a Thursday afternoon

I'm watching the Iowa/Michigan game in the first round of the Big Ten Tournament. It's like watching a JV basketball game at this point. It's painful. Somehow, the Hawks are only down by 10. I'm hoping for a big Iowa run in the last 7 minutes of the game, and then a magical run through the rest of the tournament to steal a spot in the NCAA tournament. I can dream, right? Either way, however this season ends, I'm happy with Todd Lickliter as the coach, he's done better than I had expected for his first year, I was thinking maybe 10 wins, right now they're sitting at 13 I believe. And next year should be even better, most of the team is sticking around, and Lickliter will be bringing in his first recruiting class. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Anyways, posting might be kind of sparse over the next few days, maybe weeks. Tomorrow is my last full day in Iowa, then I'm leaving for the KC area on Saturday, hopefully around noon. I'll update things around here when I can, and hopefully soon there'll be a guest spot from my soon-to-be temporary roommate, Charczuk. So keep an eye out for that!

Well, the game is getting a little ridiculous now, I'm just hoping that the Hawks will score 40 points. Ugh.

Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it sure can buy some awesome stuff

March is turning out to be an expensive month. The money I saved in February by just drinking by myself on Valentine's Day is now long gone. And I haven't even started on the moving expenses. The Shamrock Shake is the least of my worries this month. When one of my favorite game franchises, one of my favorite bands, and my favorite movie in years all have release dates in the span of two days, toss in another of my favorite bands releasing an album that slipped past my radar for a few weeks, and I'm in trouble. Luckily I had a couple of checks from my temp job, and start an actual, real-life job in a week. Plus, I'm counting on getting at least a few free meals from family in the coming week! Yes, I'm 27 years old and still take advantage of parents buying me things whenever I can. (damn, I just realized that I'm really 27 years old. It only took me two months. . .)

Anyways, here's a breakdown of my recent purchases.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

I've been a huge fan of this series, ever since the original came out on the N64. We would have some intense-ass battles, and spent at least one New Year's Eve up all night playing until breakfast. Then we'd play some more. And the new version? Even better than the last two.

Holy crap, this game is awesome. I've only played it for about 15 hours in the past two days. The sad thing is, I'm not sure if that is too much of an exaggeration. Yes, as I mentioned above, I am 27 years old. So what.

For those of you not familiar with the game, it's basically a bunch of different Nintendo characters in one game, fighting. It's for up to 4 players at once, in a good old fashioned rumble. And this iteration has online capabilities, so one can play against anyone else in the world. Awesome. You can save replays of great fights, snap photos and save them, even play trial versions of the original games that the characters are in. Super awesome. If you haven't already done so, go buy a Wii, if you can find one (seriously, mine's been worth every penny), and get this game. I know I've said that about a few things before, but this time, I'm dead serious. You'll already be set up with some of the best party games available. SSBB, and Wii Sports. I dare you to not have fun with Wii Bolwing or Tennis. It's not possible.

No Country for Old Men

You already know this is awesome. No more details needed.

WHY? - Alopecia

This was released today, I did a deal online through a comic store in MA - preorder the album, and get a free autographed booklet. I was worried that it wouldn't get here in time, that it would be shipped some slow-ass way, but I figured it was worth the shot. Lo and behold, a package showed up in my mailbox today! Not only did I get the autographed booklet, but it was on a separate booklet, not the one included with the CD. So I can frame it, and still have one to look at! (I should make some sort of display with the autographed stuff I have. I could have a sports one and a music one. Music with the entirety of Weezer, M. Doughty, WHY?, the lead singer of Reel Big Fish, and more. hmm. . .)

The album is incredible. I had heard most of the songs already on their myspace page, but still, that did not lessen my enthusiasm. It felt good to cruise around and listen to it. I can't wait for the warmer weather, I'll feel like a badass driving around in my Grand Am, listening to this album with my windows down. Yeah. I don't know if there's one bad track. And that's saying something, it spans a few different styles, and does them all well. Give it a listen.

The Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride

This one was released on February 19th, but I somehow missed it. I'm glad that I noticed it and picked it up, though. It's awesome. This might be my favorite Mountain Goats album since John Darnielle started recording in an actual studio instead of on his boombox, my favorite full-band album, although Sunset Tree comes in a close second. Want to listen to Heretic Pride, but not sure if you want to buy the album? Well, you can (legally!) listen to the whole album online, and even see a video of the first track, "Sax Rohmer #1," here. Check it out. Not just for my sake, but for your own as well.

All told, I'm extremely pleased with each and every one of my purchases. Considering that in the next few weeks/months I'll be saving every penny I can, I think I needed one last splurge to satisfy myself, and to give myself a present for getting a job. I can do that. Right? Right.

I hate to say I told you so. . .

All the way back in November I said that Vampire Weekend was going to be big. Remember? Well, tonight they're going to be on Saturday Night Live, so I think that counts, doesn't it?

For a weekend music suggestion, I'll recommend Acid House Kings! They have a similar kind of feel to Vampire Weekend, a little more mellow, and more Swedish, but I can kind of hear a resemblance. Maybe to Belle and Sebastien, too.

As for my prediction for another band that's going to be huge someday soon, I'm going to go with Bell X1. Now they're already getting some decent airplay, so this might be a little to late for any cred points, but I'll stick with them. I like them, and I think they have a sound that's going to catch on big time. Just you wait!

Until next time, enjoy stuff. Stuff is fun!

Right on

Yesterday was a pretty exciting day around these parts. Well, more exciting than usual, I guess, which doesn't really take a whole lot. Like, if I saw a firetruck going down the street with its lights on, that would qualify as an exciting day. Or if I saw a dog with a curly tail. Exciting. But yesterday was exciting in a way that makes me feel like things in this crazy world aren't so bad.

It started in the morning, as days usually do. I've been battling a cold for the past few days (quick aside: something like that happens every time when I hang out with the Minneapolis crew; regardless of where we meet up [Ames, Iowa City, Minneapolis, Cedar Rapids], someone gets sick. Last time Jimbo ended up with mono. H has had her fair share of sickness, alcohol related or no, Bill's felt under the weather once or twice, and last St. Patty's day I was a party pooper because I was coming down with a cold), but I woke up feeling better. Seeing the snow falling made me feel very relaxed, enough to fall asleep again. That was nice. I've never really been one to sleep in, I usually am up and ready to go around 9 every day. Yesterday, I slept all the way until 10:30! Very nice.

After a lunch at McDonald's (I can't resist those Shamrock Shakes. They're too good.), I had decided to read for the rest of the afternoon. But I hadn't even turned a page when my phone rang, a call from Kansas City. With a job offer. Awesome. I start the 17th, so I'll be heading west soon. I had been told that I was going to get the job offer, but didn't want to mention anything here until things had been more cemented. Now I feel like I can talk about it and not jinx it or whatever. So yeah, I'm basically rockin' out.

Later that night, my bro and I went to a friend's place and played Guitar Hero. Any time I can showoff my excellence at video games, I just at the occasion. It makes me feel like the last 20-odd years of my life weren't a total wash. It was a good time, with some good home-brewed beer. Something I need to get into, once I have the money to do so.

When I returned home and checked my email, I had a message from Lee Klein, author of the Flenky-winning "All Aboard the Bloated Boat." I was excited. He pointed out that his piece was more of an essay than a short story, which I had meant to mention, but just plain forgot. So thanks again, Lee, your prize will be on its way shortly! And, as I mentioned here before, I'll do a bigger write-up of the essay. I'll just say it was incredible. And getting that email was a good way to end my day.

*****

Now it's time to play a little catch-up with a few things. First off, Bill's Countdown to Opening day!

From two days ago, here's a special salute to those going after foul balls.

Real Men of Genius

In a slightly related story, one time, years ago, Bill and I were at an Iowa Cubs game with some friends. They have this "hot dog cannon" that comes out once or twice a game, shooting hot dogs into the stands. Well, Bill must have really wanted a hot dog, he sprinted after one that was probably 3 sections away, I swear he pushed a few kids out of the way, and grabbed it. He may have been jealous of me- I was thrown a ball by right fielder Angel Echevarria. To this very day, I think he throws his hot dogs in the air, just to get that "airborne" taste.

Here's yesterday's update, ten reasons why baseball is better than sex:

1. It is legal to play professionally.
2. You can count on it at least four times a week.
3. You have a coach to tell you when to advance.
4. When you are tired, you always get relieved.
5. When you strike out once, you always have two more chances for a hit.
6. Up to four people can score at once.
7. Pop-ups are frequent.
8. 30,000 people cheer when you score.
9. After seven innings, you get to stretch.
10. You can get a home run without any foreplay.

Thanks Bill!

Now for a quick music recommendation, I'll present to you Bishop Allen (site | myspace), with the song "Click, Click, Click, Click."



I really liked the song "Rain" when I first heard it, and was pleased to hear that the other songs are just as good. A fun band, they released a 4-song EP at the end of each month of 2006, each put out by themselves. That's productive, and a great idea.

Goddammit, it's back

We're gonna sing the pirate's gospel

This annual article from one of my favorite sports writers, Joe Posnanski, is one reason why I love baseball. Also, Posnanski is the author of the book I'm currently reading, The Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip Through Buck O'Neil's America. I'm a little over halfway through, and think it may be my favorite baseball-related book, ever. And a book I think even non-fans of the sport would love.

While I wait for Bill to send today's baseball video along, I'll give you all something to listen to. This one is for Captain Crab! Here's Alela Diane with "The Pirate's Gospel."



I'll figure out how to play it, then the next time you have some piratin' to do in Eastern Iowa, Cap'n, we'll have some rum and sing this song.

In other music-related blog postings, Bad Wims has found himself the perfect song to have as his theme. I'm jealous. It works so well. I have one that I've thought up for myself, and will try to get it posted soon. But it just pales in comparison. Check it out.

Alright, and Bill just sent out the video, right in the nick of being 5 minutes late!



I got a batting practice ball hit by Derek Jeter at the World Baseball Classic a few years ago, and a couple in some AAA games, a handful of A-League balls, and had a BP ball hit by Prince Fielder bounce off of my hands, but that's about it. Maybe some day that will change!

So I'm playing with the idea of starting a new blog, one for baseball specifically. If I get the initiative to do it, I'll have it going in the next couple of days. Stay tuned for more announcements on this front (I'm sure everyone cares!). And let me know what you think! I know there are a few readers out there who probably don't care as much about the baseball aspects of some of the posts, so I thought this could be a good way to clear up some posts, and maybe attract a different crowd, those looking for some baseball insight from some dude who really likes the Royals.

Only 23 days to go!

I am back from Minneapolis, after a very fun weekend, full of some drinking, some Trivial Pursuit, and lots of food. There may or may not have been some karaoke, we'll wait to see if there is video evidence. Nothing too exciting happened, just some hanging out with friends, but really, what more do you need? I made it back to Iowa to be under another winter weather advisory, some more snow could be on the way. Hurrah!

Well, I'm tired and don't have too much more to say at this moment, but here is Bill's video for the Countdown to Opening Day!



Fare thee well, Irish

I live for this

It is foolish and childish, on the face of it, to affiliate ourselves with anything so insignificant and patently contrived and commercially exploitive as a professional sports team, and the amused superiority and icy scorn that the non-fan directs at the sports nut (I know this look -- I know it by heart) is understandable and almost unanswerable. Almost. What is left out of this calculation, it seems to me, is the business of caring -- caring deeply and passionately, really caring -- which is a capacity or an emotion that has almost gone out of our lives. And so it seems possible that we have come to a time when it no longer matters so much what the caring is about, how frail or foolish is the object of that concern, as long as the feeling itself can be saved. Naivete -- the infantile and ignoble joy that sends a grown man or woman to dancing and shouting with joy in the middle of the night over the haphazardous flight of a distant ball -- seems a small price to pay for such a gift.

-Roger Angell in his piece "Agincourt and After"

Spring training has started, the Royals won yesterday, beating the Padres 13-9 (I'm starting my "Hideo Nomo for Cy Young" campaign soon), after they lost their "spring opener" to the Rangers. Just seeing a baseball field on TV is enough to get me in better spirits, and almost bring a tear to my eye. My friend Bill is adding his own touch to the excitement and anticipation of Opening Day by sending out emails each day, leading up to the hallowed event, with baseball-related videos. I decided that more people need to get pumped up for this, and, with his permission, am going to share his videos. Now he's a couple of days into it, so I'll play catch-up today.

First was from 2 days ago



Then yesterday



And here's today's



I'm optimistic this year about the Royals. Of course, I am every year. But the young players are a year older, there's a new manager , Jose Guillen is a pretty big signing for them (even if he has to serve a 15-game suspension for steroid-related stuff), Luke Hochevar, a first-round pick from a few season ago, pitched two perfect innings the other day against some big-time hitters in the Rangers' lineup, and, as a Royals fan, I have to have hope. But it's not always a blind hope, this year, I have a good feeling about it!

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

On a kind of spur-of-the-moment decision, I went to a matinee of There Will Be Blood. I had seen umm, a "less legal" version of it, but thought that I should see it in the theater to get a better idea of it, and to get the full effect. I'm glad I did. I liked it, a lot, and Daniel Day Lewis definitely deserved the Best Actor award. But it's not a movie that I'm going to go out and buy the day the DVD becomes available (like I will for No Country for Old Men, March 11th). The acting, directing, cinematography, and everything was great. I like Paul Dano a lot, and think he should've been nominated for supporting actor. Hopefully he'll continue his great roles (he was great in this and in last year's Little Miss Sunshine), and have plenty of opportunities to snag a nomination and even an award or two. So go see the movie if you haven't, because it's really, really good. Not quite my favorite P.T. Anderson film (I think that might be Punch Drunk Love), but still worth seeing in the theater. Worth it enough to get a coveted 5 Flenker Thumbs Up!














I haven't done a music recommendation lately, so here are a couple of bands for you. First up, Silversun Pickups (website | myspace), from LA. I think I like these guys a lot, they remind me of Hum, if Hum were more wiener and less grungy, but still kind of with an edge. My favorite song by far is "Lazy Eye," but I like "Well Thought Out Twinkles," too, along with the others.



The second band I'll mention is for Bill. Ever since Rushmore, he and I have both been fans of Jason Schwartzman, and Bill loved The O.C., and the theme song, "California," performed by Phantom Planet, a band with Schwartman as the drummer (I'm pretty sure he was the drummer. . .). Well, he's in a new band, Coconut Records. His song "West Coast" is pretty good, so give it a listen!

This may be my last post for a few days, I'm heading north tomorrow, going up to the wonderful Twin Cities area, to hang out with H and friends. Should be a rousing good time, and who knows, maybe some good stories will come of it. See you later!

The First Annual Flenkys

Welcome to the first annual Flenkys! We're here today to acknowledge the best and brightest from 2007 in the world of music, movies, and anything else that I can come up with! So without further ado, let's hand out some awards!

Movie Section

Best Movie seen by Flenker

• No Country for Old Men
• Juno
• King of Kong
• Ratatouille
• I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With
• Hot Fuzz

And the winner is. . . No Country for Old Men!!!

While there were some excellent movies in the year 2007, for me, by far, the best one was No Country for Old Men. I mean, it got a rare 6 Flenker Thumbs Up!!!

Biggest Badass in a Movie

• Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men

The Flenky goes to. . . Javier Bardem!

Again, not even close. Not another contender for this one. He wins.

Random Section

Best Overused Word of 2007

• "green"
• "the"
• "change

"Green," come on down!

Seriously, it was ridiculous.

Biggest Waste of Government Money in 2007

• Congress investigation into steroids in baseball
• War in Middle East

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie!!!

What the hell? On both accounts! One, why is congress taking its time investigating steroids or HGH or whatever? I guess they don't think they have other, more important things going on. Like a fucking war that no one likes.

Sports Section

Best Sports Story - Baseball

• White Sox Suck
• Colorado Rockies make the Series
• Cardinals Suck
• Mets Choke
• Royals (slightly) improve

The Flenky goes to. . . The Rockies!

They went on a ridiculous streak to end the season and force a one-game playoff with the Padres, won that in dramatic fashion, then tore through the NL playoffs. Sure, the National League is kind of like Quadruple-A, and it showed in the Series, but still, very very impressive.

Best Sports Story - Football (College)

• Notre Dame Sucks really bad
• Iowa beats Illinois
• Stanford beats USC
• Appalachian State beats Michigan
• Iowa State loses to UNI

Notre Dame, you won something!!

For as many struggles as the Hawkeyes had, it cheered me up to no end to see the Fighting Irish do so terribly. Any season in which they're terrible is a good season.

Best Sports Story - Football (Professional)

• Reggie Bush makes slightly more money in pros than he did at USC
• Mario Williams becomes a beast
• Patriots go undefeated (regular season)
• Rex Grossman's and Kyle Orton's neck beard
• Bob Sanders - Defensive Player of the Year

Bobby Sanders, here's a Flenky!

I gotta stick with the Hawkeye here. He was a monster this season, signing the highest-paying contract for a safety, and laying down the law.

Best Sporting Event Attended by Flenker in 2007

• Iowa vs Northern Illinois @ Soldier Field, Chicago
• Kansas City Royals @ Milwaukee Brewers, Miller Park, Milwaukee, WI
• Syracuse vs Iowa, Kinnick Stadium, Iowa City, IA
• Twins @ Royals, Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City, MO
• Astros @ Cubs, Wrigley Field, Chicago, IL
• Chicago Bulls @ Washington Wizards, Verizon Center, Washington, DC

The award goes to. . . Iowa vs Northern Illinois!

This was such a great atmosphere, like a bowl game (and the closest game the Hawkeyes played in to a bowl game), tons of Iowa fans, and a trip to Chicago. What more could you ask for??

Music Section

Best Song

• The New Pornographers - "Challengers"
• Animal Collective - "Fireworks"
• Of Montreal - "A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger"
• Spoon - "The Underdog"
• Loney, Dear - "I am John"
• Devendra Banhart - "Lover"
• The Apples in Stereo - "7 Stars"

In the closest category of the day, the award for Best Song goes to The Apples in Stereo!

This was a tough choice. All of the songs listed were great, and then there were so many other that could have been nominated. But "7 Stars" just makes me feel good, gets me going. I'm pretty sure it was a 6-way tie for second.

Album of the Year

• Loney, Dear - Loney, Noir
  
• Radiohead - In Rainbows
• Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are you the Destroyer?
• Bright Eyes - Cassadaga
  
• The New Pornographers - Challengers
• The Apples in Stereo - New Magnetic Wonder

In another close one, Radiohead takes the Flenky!

Radiohead's innovative method of release (pay-what-you-want) worked incredibly well, and their innovative music was even better. I think they'll go down in annals as one of the best bands of our generation.

Best Concert Attended by Flenker

• Reel Big Fish - LeClair Park, Davenport, IA
• Jose Gonzalez - The Parish Room, Austin, TX
• Loney, Dear with Of Montreal - First Ave, Minneapolis, MN
• Project Jenny, Project Jan with Fujiya and Miyagi - Club De Ville, Austin, TX
• Animal Collective - The Picador, Iowa City, IA

The Flenky goes to PJ, PJ with Fujiya and Miyagi!

This was a fun show, with good company, a few gin and tonics, and excellent music, all around. Plus, I was able to talk with both bands, and got the feeling that they both loved what they were doing. How can that be bad?

Mixed Media Section

Best Book I Read (note: books may not have been published in 2007, but I read them anyways!)

• You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggers
• What is the What? by Dave Eggers
• A Weekend of Long Goodbyes by Paul Murray
• Moneyball by Michael Lewis
• Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris

You Shall Know Our Velocity!, you win!

Not quite the runaway that Best Movie was, but a fairly easy choice for me. I loved all of these books, but this one just had something to it that made it stand out above the rest.

Best Short Story Read by Flenker (see above for qualifier)

• All Aboard the Bloated Boat: Arguments in Favor of Barry Bonds by Lee Klein
• Love and Honor and Pity and Pride and Compassion and Sacrifice by Nam Le
• About the Man Who Began Flying After Meeting Her by Dave Eggers
• American by Joshua Clark

Lee Klein gets his first Flenky!

This was one of the most well-written, well-argued pieces of work I've ever read. It deserves its own post, and will probably get one soon.

Best Video Game of 2007

• NCAA Football 2008 (Xbox360)
• Madden '08 (Wii)
• Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)
• Rock Band (Xbox360)

NCAA Football is the winner!

I almost put The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess up there, but it was released in 2006, so I couldn't do it. NCAA '08 is a great game, though. Almost enough to make me buy an Xbox, just so I could play it.

Screw You I'm Giving Myself
Some Awards Section

Best Post on The Politics of Lonely

• The very first post (Here We Go Again. . .)
• Dear super cute girl sitting across from me at the library,
• The one where I announce my intentions to move (that worked out well)
• Rules for being with Flenker
• When I was interviewed by the Boob Lady or Minty
• Is this heaven?

Super cute girl, you may not have noticed, but here's a Flenky!

It's still one of my favorite posts, I was funny back then. And the girl was really cute.

Best Gimmick at The Politics of Lonely

• Music Recommendations
• Dear. . .
• Great Blogger Mix CD Exchange
• The Flenkys
• Flenker Thumbs Up

And the winner is. . . Flenker Thumbs Up!

I like watching movies. And I like putting lots of little pictures of me in a goofy pose up. It's the obvious choice.

And finally, the last award of the day

Most Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence



ooh, the suspense!



The winner is Dwight Howard, for this play, which made me stand up in the middle of the bar and yell "oh my!!!", right in the middle of a conversation. I remember this moment well





Howard has a good chance at this award again next year for his performance in the Slam Dunk contest, but he may get a run for his money from this guy





So, thanks for coming, everyone looked so nice all dressed up. Make sure you pick up some trash on the way out, instead of getting janitors, we got this gigantic inflatable cat.

Come back again next year!

Move over Flying Burrito, there's a new (airline-themed restaurant) sheriff in town

Sweet sassy molassey, I think I had one of the best lunches in a long time today. I met up with my brother and went to Flying Weenie, a hot dog place that also sells gyros and ribs and some sandwiches. I'm so so sorry that I hadn't eaten here yet. It seems like a good place to go eat every day, the people at the counter were so extremely nice, the food was freaking delicious, and the atmosphere was incredible. My brother's been there a number of times, to the point where the lady at the counter knows his name. I'm jealous of him. I want to reach that status.

I had today's lunch special: the "double play," two dogs, with everything on them (onions, sweet relish, kraut, ketchup, mustard, pickle spear, peppers, and tomatoes) with fries and a drink. Holy crap. It was amazing. Travis got the gyro, which looked mighty delicious. I may have to get that next time. There will be a next time.

The decor is awesome, with an airplane sitting on top of the building, and all sorts of flight paraphernalia inside, including an engine block from a plane, some planes made out of soda pop cans, some arcade games, posters, and even a few Beanie Babies that were for sale. The only thing I can complain about is the distance from me. It's not like it's very far from home, only a couple of miles. So really, there's no problem with it.

Except on days like today, where the temperature is hovering right around 32 degrees, the rain is falling, and things are getting icy. But hey, at least the temperature is supposed to continue dropping, and then 5-8 inches of snow fallows! I imagine we may get an inch or two, but 8? I'm skeptical. Nevertheless, I prepared myself to be confined to the house for a day or two. On the way back from lunch, I stopped at the store to get some essential survival goods. Beer and cookie dough. I should be set.

On dating, with Flenker and H

Yesterday I picked up a pair of knitting needles and some yarn. My plan is twofold. First off, I think it'd be awesome to make something to wear. My first project, I've decided, is a scarf. Really straight-forward and simple. Next, a pair of socks. After that, maybe some underwear. I don't know how comfortable those would be, but they'd be a hell of a conversation starter (yes, I frequently talk about my underwear with people. You'd be surprised by how many people have actually seen me in them. But that's another story).

The second reason behind my acquisition of the needles is the real ingenious part of the plan: for the girls.

I have it all figured out, you see. A girl will see me knitting (once I'm comfortable to do it in public. people will be talking), and ask me about it. I'll reply with, "yeah, I figured I may as well guarantee that I'll never touch a girl again and took this up." She'll either feel sorry for me (in which case I'm in), or she'll laugh and realize that I have a ridiculously awesome sense of humor. And they'll be intrigued. They'll see it as a challenge, and maybe think I'm "sensitive." And what girl wouldn't want a hand-knit somethingorother for Valentine's Day? Even if it's just a pot holder the first time around, she knows that I'll improve, and be making her that bikini top that she wants for next year.

Don't just take my word on it, though. I've run this by my crack team of analysts, and it checks out. Don't believe me? Here's H with her thoughts.

I think Flenker may be onto something with this knitting thing. Dating today has gotten so complicated; with the advent of cellular phones and text messaging, dating Web sites such as eHarmony, and those pesky STD tests, many folks long for the simple dating ways of yesteryear.

First of all, there’s so much confusion surrounding relationship statuses. When you first meet someone and are certainly “into them” but have only been on a handful of dates, what are you? Are you seeing each other? Are you dating? Bringing it up would only create a domino effect and presumably send the guy (or commitment-phobic girl, I don’t mean to create stereotypes here) running for the hills; no one wants to have that “So, what are we, exactly?” talk too early on. But once it’s been established that two people are together, it doesn’t get any easier. You’re in a relationship…until you “go on a break” or “take some time apart.” One person can call the other their boyfriend or girlfriend, while the other may introduce their partner as their “special friend” or “significant other.” And you may still have one person who just can’t commit to committing, who, in a committed relationship they may be, refuse to call their partner anything at all. In cases such as these, the other partner may be delighted to hear the response “I assumed I would be doing whatever you’re doing” to the question “What did you have planned for Easter?”¹

But back in the day, there was no such confusion. First the man would ask the woman on the date; if all went well, the man would ask the woman to go steady; and finally, the man would ask the woman to marry him. First you had a date, then you went steady, then you got married. It was as simple as that. If things weren’t going to work out, one party would politely break up with the other, in person; perhaps the very wealthy and sophisticated would toss a martini in someone’s face if things ended on a sour note. There was no leaving people hanging by not returning phone calls (especially in the days before Alexander Graham Bell opened that can of worms), no “We were on a break” a la Ross and Rachel, and no dumping people via e-mail or, worse, text message².

Yes, those were simpler, happier times. We need to bring back the dating ideals of the days of yore, and I think Flenker’s idea to start knitting is a savvy one. In this age of technology, people can seem cold and impersonal. All the virtual interaction that has replaced regular human contact has trained people to talk to machines and not other humans. Men should do something that humanizes them, that brings out their softer side, and knitting seems like the perfect way to go about this. One might be inclined to use poetry, but poetry is a slippery slope; unless you claim “Poet” as your occupation when filing your tax return, poetry should be used sparingly as to avoid creating the impression that you are trying too hard. Knitting makes it look like you are not trying at all. In fact, it makes it look like you are trying to repel women. This will create an aura of mystery and intrigue, like a tractor beam sucking the ladies right in. You will be deemed “intense, but sensitive.” Isn’t that what every man wants?

¹ This actually just happened to someone I know.

² After a friend recently dumped his girlfriend over the phone, we were discussing the worst possible ways to break up with someone. Over the phone was rated the fourth worst way to dump someone, preceded by text message, instant message, and e-mail.

I was actually "dumped" by someone via email. But, it was one of those "dating" relationships, where neither of us were sure if we were "boyfriend/girlfriend." Well, I guess she was sure when she sent the email. Added on top of that was the fact that it was a long-distance "relationship." When you're not sure what the status of the relationship is, and there are more than 10 miles between the two parties, chances are there's not much of a relationship there. It would've been nice for someone to tell me that 10 years ago. Hell, it would've been nice to remember that 2 months ago. Live and learn and forget and relearn I guess.

Now that I'm out of school and not working, I have no idea how to meet people. This isn't necessarily going for just meeting girls, either, but making "buddies," too. For today's purposes, though, we'll stick with finding dates.

I've never been big on the bar scene, contrary to how it may come off here. I like going and hanging out with friends and having a good time, but the only times I've ever met anyone at a bar have been when I'm pretty smashed and start randomly talking to people. Most of the time I get the "get this drunk ass away from me" look. If the other party is drunk enough, then a barely coherent conversation will take place, and that's usually the extent of it. I'm not one to ask for phone numbers, or to make "after hours" plans, especially now in my "older" age. Besides, do I really think a lasting relationship will be founded at a bar? (note: this only pertains to myself. I'm sure plenty of people have met the love of their life at a bar. I just don't see it happening for me) So where can the Flenker find love? Here's what I've come up with:

1. Bookstore - meet someone that likes to read, and if things go well, can impress someone with my book collection and vast knowledge. Plus, there's a chance she might wear glasses.
2. Coffee shop - as long as it's not Starbucks or something like that, it's probably a cooler person, someone who likes to hang out but in a relaxed manner. Baristas, though, you have to watch out for. You never know what they're thinking
3. Music store - again, at an independent place. And could be touchy, you might not like the same bands, which could doom a relationship from the start. Or, it could be a ticket in, educating each other about different music. In my relationships, it's usually me educating the girl, I kind of dominate that role.
4. Grocery store - I've heard it's a good place to meet people, especially "organic" places. I guess I could see that.

The problem now becomes actually talking to people at these places. It's one thing if you see someone over and over again, but a totally different ballgame to go in upon first meeting or even glance.

Flenker, I think you’re thinking a bit too modernly. We need you to take a step back in time. You could meet girls at the:

1. Bookstore. I’ll leave that one on there, as people have been reading as long as there’s been papyrus to write on. I think you might be onto something there. As always, avoid women you may see in the self-help aisle. Look for them in the cookbook aisle instead.
2. Coffee shop. Okay, I’ll leave that on there as well, since a coffee shop is an ideal place to sit quietly, reflect and…knit. That’s right, I suggest you break out the needles at your neighborhood Brews Brothers or similar. Just be extra careful not to spill – that cardigan you’re knitting may be given to your newfound beloved, and even she doesn’t want a coffee stain reminder of the first time you met.
3. Music store – the kind of music store where you go to buy strings for your banjo. She will be there playing her harp. Just trust me on this.
4. Instead of the grocery store, think farmer’s market. Once the weather gets warmer, that is. Some girl may impress you with her candied yams.

Ahh, much thanks H. Your valuable insight should prove successful. A farmer's market, of course!! Also, my banjo is in need of some new strings, and I can't find my finger picks, so there's another opportunity right there!

I guess this shows that clothing isn't the only thing that should be retro. Everyone says how much simpler things were in "the good old days," so what better way to employ that thinking than in the dating venue? Simplify. I guess it's that easy. Well, as easy as things get in the dating world.

An open letter to J.J. Abrams, and a double dose of music

Dear Mr. Abrams,

Can I call you J.J.? Or James? What about Jimbo? Oh, your first name is Jeffrey? Sorry, my bad. Let me start, Jeff, by saying that I liked the episode of The Office you directed. And while I don't really watch Lost, I know some people that like it a lot, so you must be doing something right. I've seen one episode, the first one of this current season, and didn't really know what was going on, and kind of thought that the main dude, Jack or whatever his name is, was kind of an ass. Which brings me to the reason I'm writing this letter.

I just saw Cloverfield. It was pretty good, but a few changes could have made it great. Like getting rid of the whole love story. Who cares? You should've learned something from Transformers, people want to see gigantic robots fighting, or a monster totally destroying a city and fighting things. I think I speak for all bitter, jaded 20-somethings when I say that I could give two shits about whether or not this dude is in love with a girl in movies like this. But that's not my point here, that's not what I thought the biggest flaw was.

I did not feel for, or relate to, or even root for the characters in the movie. By the end, I was kind of wishing that the monster would eat them. The main character, we'll call him Douchebag #1 (DB1), was kind of a whiny bitch. And a douchebag. I didn't care if any of the characters lived or not. Which brings us back to the love story. If that wasn't included in the movie, then development, or lack of development, wouldn't have been a big deal. But maybe that's not your thing. I did like that the son from Carpoolers was in your movie, though. I like him on that show. But again, not so much his character in the movie.

All in all, I thought it was a decent movie, but the build up and expectations I had for it were probably a bit much. I've noticed on IMDb that there's supposedly a sequel in the works, something that I wanted right after I got out of the theater. It could be done really well, and while not overtly answering some questions posed, could help understanding things better. So good luck with that. But get some things more realistic. I can suspend my reality to believe that there's a gigantic monster attacking New York. But I'm not so sure about seeing someone with rebar through their chest in one scene, only to see this person sprinting in the next. That's not the only one, but I don't want to spoil things for those who haven't seen your movie yet. I'll still tell them to see it, I'll warn them that it's a little cheesy, but worth seeing. Heck, I'll even give you 3-and-a-half Flenker Thumbs Up








You would've gotten another half if you had made the monster Cthulu. Then I would have stood up and cheered. Instead, I had to be the only solo dude in a theater of couples. Awesome. Who knew that you made a date movie??

Well, good luck with your future endeavors. I hope the Star Trek movie is good. If you mess that up, you will have millions of huge nerds upset with you, and they'll write about you in their blogs. . . wait a minute. . .

Sincerely yours,

Flenker

*****

Today's music recommendation is kind of a cop-out, because it's from a band that I've already mentioned lots and lots of times. But, this time there's new music, so I'll validate it that way.

WHY? has put up a ton of new music on their (his?) myspace, I'm thinking it's from the new album, Alopecia, due out March 11. I've been listening to it for the past couple of days, and have been enjoying it a lot a lot. Let me know what you think.

And, since this isn't a new band, I thought I'd revisit another band, just to make it a good music day. As if WHY? isn't enough. But here you go, Vanilla Fudge with one of the best performances I've ever seen. Yeah, this is another one I've posted once or twice, but damn, it's good. When we finally have books that have little videos on the pages, you'll see the last 30 seconds of this song in the dictionary under "epic." Enjoy

Post about girls

First off, today's music!



The Flying Machines (site | myspace) are a band of Fender-wielding lads from New York City. To me, they sound like if ELO and Queen's illegitimate daughter hooked up with Rivers Cuomo. They've been tearing it up on XM, and have a great, catchy sound that gets your head a-bobbin'. A great band to listen to during a winter that would have had Les Stroud saying "fuck this!" at least twice a week. (note: Les Stroud deserves, and will get, his on post sometime in the near future. That guy is the fucking man. I wish I had a page on Wikipedia that said my occupation was "musician/survivalist.")

I still have no idea how I have yet to totally wipe out, to have my ass hit the ice while I'm walking around. Of course you know now that it'll happen sometime in the next 36 minutes. But I don't know what a tenant is supposed to do to the sidewalks. Shoveling the snow off is nice, but if it's done too well, then there's just a sheet of ice that requires a blade to cross, as opposed to the traditional rubber tread. If no snow is shoveled, then you're up to your balls in snow. Believe me. Over the past week, I've walked in/on/through it all.

On sidewalks where nothing is done, I glance at the house, and shake my head. Places that have been shoveled down to the ice layer, well, I spend too much time trying not to bust my ass to worry too much about it. There were many times when my foot slipped and I let out a high-pitch "woo!" as I regain my balance, and then chuckled to myself as I imagined what I looked/sounded like. A lot of places had some snow still dusted on the ice patches. Those actually were the best places to walk, there was at least some traction, and not enough snow to coat the cuff of my pants. Somehow, I still haven't figured it out, there were a couple of places that had the sidewalks totally cleared! I wanted to go knock on the doors and shake the person's hand that was responsible, maybe even a hug. And, if they had an attractive daughter around my age, I would probably try to court her, because she comes from a good family.

Which brings me to a different topic altogether. Why is it that there are so many girls my age that are married? Sure, 27 isn't "young" young, it's not like I'm 22 anymore. But still, I hate that I'm to a point in my life where I have to glance at someone's hand for a ring. Like today, the cute girl at the mall who sold me a vanilla cream Italian soda. She was really cute, and really nice. And had a wedding ring on her finger. But, it's not like it would have changed anything if she didn't. I still wouldn't have really talked with her. I'm pretty sure she was being nice because she's a nice girl, and because I was the only customer at the time. For a second, though, I thought there was a connection. I mean, I've been looking good lately, the hair is rockin' out pretty hard, and I had even sort of recently shaved. Is it too much to think that a girl is interested? Besides, she may have gotten a better tip if her household didn't have a second income.

I did get hit on last night, though! I got gas, and stopped inside the station for a Diet Dr Pepper, and decided to get a Whatchamacallit bar. The girl at the counter said "ooh, I love these!" I said, "yeah, they're good." She said, "I try to stay away from them, though, they're not really good for you. It doesn't look like you need to worry about that, though," and smiled at me in a strange way. I laughed uncomfortably and left. She might have been kind of cute if she were a few years older and not working at a gas station. And maybe lost like 10 pounds. And if I had about 7 beers in me. She may have had a chance if all those things happened. (Not that I'm picky or anything. I'm not really desperate either, though.) But still, it was a little confidence boost. Though, I could be reading too much into it, she probably just really likes the peanut flavor crisps, along with the caramel and rich chocolately coating.

Well, that's not exactly where I was planning on this post going today, but hey, that works. I feel good about it. And I"m listening to my music recommendation for tomorrow. Also tomorrow, look for an open letter to J.J. Abrams.

This post took 2 days to write. And it still sucks

We're in the midst of a record-setting winter here in Eastern Iowa, over 60 inches of snow, good enough to crack the top-10 all-time winters. This weekend added in anywhere from 5-8 inches, on top of about an inch of ice. Good good times! Which meant that this Saturday, some of us took part in the age-old sport of drunken ice walking to the bars in the freezing rain. Surprisingly, I was one of the few that didn't totally wipe out, just a few close calls. I'm amazing at that game, I guess. I need to try out for the Drunk Winter Olympics.

So I've been working for the past week, just a temp job at the University hospital in Iowa City. I open boxes, connect devices to computers and check them in. For a long time every day. It's extremely mindless and repetitive, but I get paid extremely well to do it, so it's very easy to tolerate. Especially when I can basically wear whatever I'd like (unfortunately, pants are required, I'm still looking for the perfect job where they aren't), and I can listen to my mp3 player. Alas, the job is drawing to a close soon, so gravy train will be pulling to a stop. I should be finding out the KC job soon, within the next couple of weeks. Here's to hoping everything will come up Flenker!! (edit: I started this post a couple of nights ago, but quit to go to sleep. Turns out we finished everything today, so the job is over. It's nice that I'm home now and can sleep in, but it would've been more than $350 for me if we had stayed until we were supposed to be done. Oh well.)

Anyways, with this recent job, I've been staying at a friend's place, who happens to live just under a mile away from the hospital, so I've been walking. I'd like to think it's because of the exercise I'm getting, but really, it's because I don't want to pay the outrageous $14 a day to park at the ramps. The sidewalks were, you guessed it, covered with ice! There were some parts where it was over an inch thick. Yikes! And the snow on the side is probably up to my knees, but there are some spots where the shoveled snow is over my head. Not in parking lots, either, but just the driveways to people's homes. So we've gotten some snow.

Now that I'm back in CR, there will be some real blog posting coming up. The first one will be later today, sometime. Today being Wednesday. Yeah. That was one nice thing about doing a mindless job, I got to sit around and think about stupid stuff all day. Then you guys get to hear about it! O joy of joys!

A tale of an event that hasn't happend (yet) -or- Whiskey and Flenker, a match made in a dirty dirty bar

Sorry for the late post on a Friday night. Like you all had anything else to do anyways, I knew that you wouldn't be able to enjoy your collective selves without having read my blog for the day. Well, you can all relax now, for not only is my blog updated, but it's being updated by the very very lovely WhiskeyMarie!! (sorry, no music today. It's taking the weekend off, but will be back soon.)

*****

Whiskey and Flenker: shaken, not stirred.


(Flenker sits in a dimly lit bar, nursing a beer. She’s late- what else is new? Damn broads. He begins to question his judgment- after all, who meets a total stranger for cocktails at noon on a Tuesday in Iowa?)

(The front door opens. A tallish brunette almost makes it in, but her purse gets caught on the door and she’s jolted back, as if attached to a rubber band. The contents of her purse, including her monogrammed flask and bottle of muscle relaxers, go tumbling to the floor. She curses like a sailor on meth, making the bartender blush. A minute passes, and she manages to compose herself. Only then does Flenker notice that she is wearing two different shoes. He chooses to keep this to himself.)

(She approaches the table.)

“Flenker! Hi! Sorry I’m late by my cat threw up on my first outfit, so I had to change, but then the one pair of jeans didn’t fit right, so I thought maybe I should wear a skirt, but it’s so f**king cold, and I hate tights, and then I’d have to wear boots, and… you know?”

“Um…”

“Holy balls I need a drink. Bartender!”

(She sits down, takes off her coat and settles in. She’s wearing a Loverboy t-shirt, jeans and boots. Her hair is a wavy mess under a stocking cap. Flenker is in jeans and a t-shirt. For some reason he’s wearing pink fuzzy slippers. Don’t ask.)

Flenker breaks the initial silence:

“So, Whiskey- Are you liking Iowa so far? I know it’s cold up there in Minnesota, so at least the weather shouldn’t be so bad for you.”

“Well, I’m thrilled to be in town to celebrate your 1-year blogiversary and post #300! Awesome! But, to be honest- it’s kind of flat here. Kind of windy. But I like it just fine. Very pastoral and serene…Jesus! Who’s a girl gotta blow to get a martini in this joint?” (motions to the flustered bartender. A martini the size of a fishbowl is unceremoniously plopped in front of her. Flenker decides to order a Jameson- make it a double.)

(Flenker clears his throat)

“Um, it sure was nice of you to make the trip down here just to hang out with me, Whiskey. Are there any sights you’d like to see in beautiful Iowa?”

“Well (takes a big gulp out of her drink), I sure would like to see the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum in the beautiful metropolis of Burr Oak. Did you ever watch that show? Wasn’t Michael Landon dreamy?”

“Uh…sure?” (pounds back his double whiskey in one giant pull wondering what the hell he’s gotten himself into.)

“If you’re not into that, we could go to the Prairie Meadows racetrack and casino in Altoona. We could totally bet on horses and get rich! Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

“I’m in if you’re buying.”

“Of course I am, Flenker. My treat. You just get the drinks, o.k?” (Finishes her drink, motions for another. Flenker does the same.)

“Drinks? With you? With me paying?” (He starts hyperventilating.)

“Don’t worry- we totally have time to sell one of your kidneys before we go. I hear it’s not painful at all with all of the modern medical advancements. Trust me.”

“O.k., Whiskey. How could I ever not trust you?”

“Great! Let’s celebrate with shots! A “Dirty Girl Scout” for me, “Three Wise Men” for you. Bartender! Keep ‘em coming!”

(Shots are downed, several more rounds are ordered. It is nearly dark outside as the two stagger out the door of the bar many hours later.)

“Hey Flenkerrrr. Lesh go to to ‘nuther barrrr. I want sum margerritaaaass.” (starts singing loudly) “Wastinnnn way ‘gin on margerrrrrriitttaaaaaaaaaaaville..”

“Hey! Wishkey. Come here. Let me tell you a seeeecret.” (leans in close to her hear)

“Beeeelllccchhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Hahahahhhaahhahaha! Fenker- you so crazy!”

(The two stumble off, forever friends. This night will be remembered fondly as: The night in which Whiskey accidentally married the president of the Blue Oyster Cult fan club and Flenker woke up in a trailer with two monkeys and no pants.)

(Flenker will also make a new rule for himself after this fateful evening:
Never drink whiskey with Whiskey ever again. Ever. Damn. Those monkeys followed him around for two months and threatened to post the pictures on the internet.)

(Damn monkeys)

*****

WM, thank you so very much! You know you are always welcome down in these parts. And in Iowa! It's amazing how well you know me, especially the waking up with no pants part. That happens more often than not, unfortunately it's never been with anyone else, monkeys or no.

And what the hell, here comes some music, courtesy of a recommendation of Captain Crab. Play the video, then re-read Whiskey's post, and imagine the band playing at the bar. It works on so many levels!



Have a hell of a damn weekend, folks!

My Funny Valentine

So yeah. Today's Valentine's Day. Whatever. More importantly, today is H's birthday! Go there, and wish her a happy day!!!!

Read last year's post for my thoughts on the day. Yeah, now that I can say that, I'll be refering to last year all the time now! It'll just be a replay of the past 12 months.

The music recommendation for the day comes from one of my favorite musicians of all time. Mr. Miles Davis! The man inspired countless musicians, including the one that writes this blog, so much so that some people have even gotten tattoos that reflect such adoration. Here's the video clip that everyone needs to watch (listen to). And yes, I've had a few beers.



Happy VD.

It's business time!

Today marks the first anniversary of the first post of my second blog! One year ago today, I made my first post here. Now I don't really have a lot of time to make a big post, but I'll try to make it up to everyone this weekend!

For my music today, I'll leave it to one of my favorites, one that Jack mentioned in a comment the other day, New Zealand's fourth most popular digi-folk paradists, Flight of the Conchords!



They have tons of stuff online, they're not exactly an "underground" or unheard of group, I mean, they have their own show on HBO, but still, it's my blog's birthday, and I can pick whoever I want!



So check them out if you haven't heard of them, if you have, listen to them some more! And enjoy, I'll be back tomorrow.

I definitely need to get myself a new cape

It's snowing. Again. I'm supposed to go to Iowa City to start a job (just a temporary thing for just over a week), but I'm not sure if I should try the roads or not. I already had to help my brother get his car out of the driveway, so we'll see. . . Although, I am looking forward to being in the IC again for a little while, I can go get my falafel on and stop by the Java House. Should be good times!

Today's music suggestion is MGMT!! (I think it's pronounced "management," but then again, when talking about them on XM Radio, one of the DJ's said that it wasn't an abbreviation for anything. So who knows!)



I saw that performance when it first aired, was really into it, then started noticing them more and more on XM. They're awesome. They've kind of got a "retro" feel to them, while still putting out their own style. The version of "Time to Pretend" they played on Letterman is different from the studio version in instrumentation - live it was more guitar-driven, the synth is more prevalent in the recorded version. Both are great, though. There's a video for the song, but for some reason, they turned off embedding for it, so I'll put the link to it here. Be sure to check out all of their songs on their myspace page, and if you like, go buy the album!

Like I said, I'll be working the next few days, but I'm going to do my darndest to get posts up in a timely manner, especially tomorrow. It's a special day around these parts!

THIS. . . . IS. . . . FLENKER!!!!!

Welcome all, to the beginning of the celebratory week, starting off with my 300th post! It's going to be a lot like the movie 300, but with less half-naked dudes and no weird dancing naked girl, but more grunting, more gravely voices, and more over-the-top dramatics. And who knows, I may kick someone down a well!

What else can you look forward to seeing? Well, my daily music recommendations will be back for a little while, maybe another photo story or two, a couple guest posts, maybe the force behind the Unified Theory of Flenker, and some highlights from the past. Oh, and I've decided I'm going to become a cheese connoisseur, so you have that to look forward to, as well.

Today, besides the wonderful photo above (it's supposed to be a 300, get it? Made with relics from my diet of late, frozen pizzas, beer, and Diet Dr Pepper), I'll start right in on the music recommendations!

This is one group that I've been really excited about lately, I'm not sure if it's because I really like their stuff (I do!) or that I think the girls in the band are really cute, especially the lead singer.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you - minipop!

(there's a couple places where there are some pantheon-level bad acting moments. It's alright with me, they're a band, not an improv troupe)

I first heard them on my XM Radio as I was driving back from Austin, and damn, I liked it a lot. Somewhere on their myspace page, they describe themselves as "dream pop;" I can't think of a better way to describe them, that's exactly how they sound. They have the above song, along with a few others, on their myspace page, which at the moment is serving as their only website. Play them, feel dreamy, sit back, comment, and enjoy the ride that will be Celebration Week!

Any suggestions on anything you can give would be great, if you have a band I should check out, a favorite post from the past, a delicious cheese I should check out, let me know! And be sure to check out my friends off to the right there. There are some excellent blogs, something to entertain, or just kill time. And, as always, leave comments. We get warm fuzzy feelings when people do that.

Thoughts while on puppy patrol

I'm back in Muscatine for the day, watching Nyles and Kenna. It's been a good time so far, aside from the whole being woken up at around 5:45 by dogs playing on my bed. But once they were fed, let out, and settled down, things got much better. I was even able to fit a nap in, which always makes for a good day. Until I look at the clock and realize that it's almost 5. Damn! I had wanted to read and write this and stuff, but I've just played my DS most of the time. That'll happen, I guess, when your life is as rough as mine.

This week is going to be a special one here at TPoL. There are a few milestones coming up, which will be celebrated with photos, music, and words other than mine, so everyone should have a good time! But for now, go over to H's place, where she is celebrating a milestone of her own. Then come back on Monday, for the start of the festivities!!