It was the halcyon days in the year of 2004. I was... in college, the second time around. I was a little bit of a late bloomer, which is just a nice way of saying a loser. My 23rd birthday was approaching, and I had never had a drop of alcohol. Not for any real reason, just didn't want to. (At first I thought I was straight edge, because why not? Then I saw Ian MacKaye speak, the man usually credited with coining the term "straight edge," and he said that he didn't want it to turn into a movement, so to speak, and that he didn't consider himself "straight edge." Not that this was the reason I eventually started to have drinks, but it was something that stuck with me. ANYWAYS, that's neither here nor there, just an aside.) This all changed, as many things did, my first year in Iowa City.
So, for my birthday, I decided to go out, and break my seal, so to speak. The bar is long since gone, being shut down multiple times for serving minors. Ahh, every Iowa City bar. My first drink? A Long Island Iced Tea. I heard it was a good "bang for your buck" drink, and had it in my mind that it tasted like iced tea. Damn, was I disappointed when I found out it tasted like fucking lighter fluid. I powered through like a champ, and had others order drinks for me all night. People were too nice, I only did one shot the whole night, and it was something like "oatmeal cream pie." It was delicious, I'm sure.
Most of the night is sort of a blur, if you can imagine. But for the first time in my life, I was drunk. I can remember the moment I realized it. I was sitting at the table, had gone through a few drinks, and was sort of let down that I wasn't feeling anything. Then, I got up to use the facilities. It hit me. It was awesome.
Of the drinks I had, I can only recall a few. The Long Island. Something called "The One" (I asked the waitress if it was The One as in Keanu in the Matrix or Jet Li's The One. I am hilarious.) An amaretto sour. The oatmeal cream pie shot. And an Alabama Slammer. (There were other drinks, I swear. But, early off, I'm afraid that I was a girl drink drunk.)
Other happenings from the night that were pieced together:
- Our waitress may have been hitting on me. She also may have been in her 40s
- I offered to prove to my ride home that I wasn't gay. She was pregnant.
- I made my first drunk dial ever, to Bob Ley. Outside the Lines was on at the bar, I called and left a message, saying that Dennis Erickson was going to return the 49ers to glory, and would join Barry Switzer and Jimmy Johnson as the only coaches to win an NCAA championship and Super Bowl (what can I say, I was drunk)
- I blamed society for driving me to drink
- I vomited. It was red, because of that damn Alabama Slammer. I was really theatrical about it, loud, since some roommates were watching a movie within earshot
- I cleaned up said vomit immediately, laughing the whole time
- Came out of the bathroom and said "Never again. Never drinking again."
- That lasted less than 24 hours.
Obviously, it was a GREAT time. The best part was not being hungover at all the next morning, even when I had to wake up around 8 to head to my mom's and celebrate my birthday with her. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if I had been introduced to my first liquor crush that night - whiskey. But alas, that's probably another story for another day.