I'm not a player. . .

Musician that I currently have a crush on - Kate Nash. I like her music, and she's pretty. Sure, she's only 20, but she's British. That adds a couple of years, right? I mean, the euro is kicking the dollar's ass, so in the exchange, she's actually like 28 here. She's playing in Minneapolis the first weekend in May, I'm going to be there. That's when she'll see me in the crowd, and fall madly in love with me. That's how that's going to work.

Unless I meet up with Zooey Deschanel before then. She's closer to my age, less than a year older! And also very pretty. And sings. She's definitely an actress that I have a big crush on.

The queen of my actress crushes, though, is none other than Natalie Portman. Anyone, male or female, that is in their mid- to late 20's, has had a crush on her at one point or another. I'm positive.

So do I have anyone that I know in real-life that I have a crush on? (Note: I normally try to stay away from ending a sentence with a preposition, but seriously, am I supposed to say "On whom I have a crush" every time?) Sure. There's a really attractive girl at the office. She's even talked to me once! Sure, it was only "excuse me" as we almost ran into each other in the hall, but still. But I don't really know her, so that doesn't count. Plus, I'm not big into the idea of an "office romance," even if it does work for Jim and Pam. Speaking of Pam Beasley, yeah. Definitely crush-worthy.

But someone I actually know? Maybe, maybe not. The problem is that even if there was, it's no one in the greater Kansas City metro area. Not yet, anyways. Perhaps I have a plan (or scheme, if you will) to get someone to move here. Maybe it's a long, time-(and money-) intensive, convoluted ordeal. And possibly, quite possibly, it could be the basis to the most perfect romantic movie ever. Or not. You never know. I'm tricky like that!